My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Parents do the darnest things

I called TC this morning at his hotel in Montreal to wish him luck. He’s up there with his parents.  His mother answers the hotel phone, she’s quite polite but not chatty as she hands him the phone. TC’s voice is strange, he’s trying to butch himself up, he has an imaginary conversation on his end of the phone of which I’m no part.  “So nice of you to call, appreciate your support, bye bye now”. He hangs up before I can say a word. Elapsed time 15 seconds. Oh well.

TC’s queer as the day is long. Watching Little Mermaid, going to an ‘arts’ high school, the majority of his friends are either queer or women, doing hair, his father has picked up him along with his friends at gay bars, he’s had boys sleep at his house in his bed with his parent’s full awareness. How much further out can you go?

For the last 2 years, his father/mother have heard my voice on the end of the phone from around the world. They’ve visited our apartment which no way in hell their son could afford even 1/2 the rent. Yet, TC is scared to tell them that I’m his boyfriend/partner. Now unless his parents are total idiots, my guess is they’ve figured this out. I’m banging their little boy (primarily because he won’t bang me). 🙂

So OK, I’ve got some baggage but to make me invisible isn’t fair either, I’m not some hookup from a bar (OK I was, but I’m NOT anymore, sorta of an unhookup now).

The brown culture is really strong. I saw a lot of Latinos in Chicago, living at home with their parents, who have duality to their lives. It’s a real bitch to manage and truly f*cks these kids up. They equate gay with illicit sexual activity and no great wonder they struggle to combine their worlds later in their life.

I’m not the Zen Master here, merely a casual observer. I gather TC’s parents probably haven’t given 2 minutes of thought of what it truly means to be ‘gay’. Now I’m not saying they’ve not been supportive, they clearly love him very much, but simply they refuse to acknowledge this side of him and what it entails. TC is always commenting that he is the subject of gossip amongst his extended family. Well who the f*ck cares what some butt ugly 3rd cousin removed whose looking at kiddie porn in his basement thinks?

TC is lucky, his parents, relatively speaking are quite liberal, but most aren’t and for those who have struggled to find acceptance amidst their own family circle, well, a big hug to you. And if you’re brown and cute , well call now.


  1. It’s the same ole TC…….avoid reality when it doesn’t suit.

  2. Family has a different meaning in “brown culture”…so I relate to TC. I mean I’m out and all but I understand the bond he has with his family. I miss them! I’ll be living at home soon!

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