My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Outed by a 12 year old

“Yeah, (Toronto) Chris is living with my dad”. My 12 year old is explaining to my Indonesian friend at lunch today. “So do you like your dad’s boyfriend?”, my friend asks, “he’s ok” comes the reply. “Yeah, they just were in Paris together”. God – you can’t hide anything from this little intelligent agents.

Turns out my wife told both of my boys a few weeks back about the situation. Basically, that they’ve done nothing wrong, mom and dad are still friends and more importantly still there for them. She hadn’t planned on telling the 12 year old straight out, but he started to blame himself when she starting telling him a bit of a story. After some tears & anger, she had to resort to the old stand-by — the truth. While not happy, he quickly settled back down.

So the ‘net is this entire week both my kids have been fully aware about the gay situation and neither has shown the least bit concern nor have they asked me a single question.

They both been ribbing TC, who spent the afternoon with us. The 12 yo does a complete impression of him, replent with mannerisms and voice. It’s funny, TC is sadly pretty gay and just can’t hide it. Chris has been really great spending a lot of time with both of them, he’s keen to leave them with a good impression of my life here and himself. I can tell they both like him, they’ve spent most of the time just chatting with him.

My Indonesian friend (Mr. Paw-Paw) was great fun, taking the kids through a Chinese market explaining all the stuff to them. They thought he was very funny. He presented them with a 20 pound note as a gift. Normally, I would have been aghast at this. But it’s an Indonesian tradition for a host to present an honored foreign guest with a cash gift as a “thank you” for visiting.

I’m lucky that both Mr. Paw-Paw and TC are family oriented. Watching them with my own kids, I realized that many gay guys often miss having a kids of their own and it’s a bonus they get with me. TC, despite his young age, was quite concerned about presenting the right image and ensuring the kids didn’t see anything between us that wasn’t proper.

So like some medical procedure, it’s over before it even began and I’m left wondering when the pain is coming. You mean that was it? Everything is OK? I’m counting my blessings.

Photo of Daniel Rene, a 26 yo Cuban-American singer, I hereby challenge Prof. Tim to a duel. I get to go first.


  1. Cancel my response to your last post. You must have been a very good boy in some past life. It is great that your wife supports you in this.

  2. Well this post answered a question I had from the previous post. I guess your wife won’t be mad at you for your two boys coming home telling them they know their dad is gay. Actually you owe your wife a gift of some sort (at least a nice thank you) for taking care of the dirty work of telling your boys. Glad they are still pretty cool with you and TC.

  3. Your wife is great. Maybe you should ask the kids some questions to get the ball rolling. Ask them if they have any questions and then ask them again. Good luck.

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