I’m in far northern Germany. A place where smoked eel is the specialty food. I’m trying to figure out how much I have to drink to enjoy this fish. I’m visiting my 73 year old Aunt. Her husband died several years ago and despite being outgoing, she’s lonely. She’s telling me about my father and his younger days.
My father is approaching 80 and also alone despite having had numerous girlfriends and being married three times. As she’s talking about my father, I’m hearing many of his personality attributes that could just as well be me.
It’s unfortunately a reflective moment for me. By my age, we all should have a good sense of who we really are. There are many things I’d like to change in myself. Change is to beyond a certain degree impossible; I was pre-programmed at the factory. But I can be aware of what I consider defects and try and steer around them, acknowledgement being the first step. We all need to value and welcome more the people who want to be part of our lives.
In the middle of this TC has called twice. Whether he was jealous, bored or dare I guess, missing me – I won’t try an analyze. I’ll just be happy for the attention. I need to recognize his contribution to our relationship, the effort and what he brings as his own personal touch.