My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Old boyfriends

Brian, my therapist from long ago, had told me that gay guys in particularly often have a really hard time getting over a relationship they took seriously.  I saw it first hand over the weekend.

Image320 Steven is TC' former boyfriend. A year or 2 older than Chris, he's a tall lanky blonde haired Brit boy with fair skin, geeky looking, a bit awkward. Steven has an avg non-descript non-career job, just trying to make ends meet. In TC's words, Steven is a bit of a loner, shy and a tad non-social. While TC professes he's no longer romatically interested in Steven, his actions perhaps speak louder. For Steven, TC is likely the cooliest & best thing that's ever happened in his life. I've not been terribly concerned, Steven is not something I'm planning on competing with.


So let the drama unfold, our first night in London, TC wants to contact Steven and I stupidly dial Steven's mobile phone. Steven so desperately wants to see TC, he agrees to come meet us in a SoHo bar that night. Now remember, Steven has to date refused to meet me and where possible enjoys talking badly about me. TC is lecturing me that I need to be on my best behaviour that Steven is "sensitive" and bla bla bla. Like I give a shit. But if TC's friendship with Steven is important, I'll be all nice.

Steven arrives at the bar, nervously shakes my hand, says hello and we amble up to order in the busy venue. Drink in hand, Prof. Tim and I find a place to sit. Steven and TC huddle in another corner. Glad he wanted to meet me.

5 minutes later, Steven suddenly leaves the bar and TC follows. Whatever, gay drama, I'm tired of it. About a bit later, Chris comes back into the bar, tears are streaming down his face. Seems poor Steven was "emotionally upset" with having met me and has gone home. Met me? I've had longer conversations with people I bump into getting a drink.  A short while later, TC leaves us for the night to go see Steven "to make sure he's OK". TC will return to the hotel 2 hours later and ironically be mad at me for untold reasons.

Steven obviously has some deep seated feelings for TC. He's blotted from his mind that I even exist and unfortunately the reality of "meeting me" jolted him with that lightning bolt of reality which he wasn't ready for. Steven can't move on with his life. I'd vote for professional help for him. But I really don't care, I'm more concerned about TC's continued feelings for Steven.

TC stayed with us the remainder of the weekend and the incident was soon no longer a topic. I'm still thinking whether this is a topic I should let just pass or kick the drama up another notch.


  1. It would appear that you little kitten was able to be “mom cat” for a night and obviously enjoyed it. As to it meaning much more is highly doubtful…..

  2. You are a better man than me old man. I’m the jealouos type, and would be having thoughts such as “what is that little cub up to in London until Thursday?” or “is that little cub going to hook up with that blond nerd while he’s still in London?” I respect and admire you for not having such thoughts and for giving the little cub the space he needs for now.

  3. Ahhh, welcome to the rollercoaster Chris. It’s sweet that TC is concerned for his ex. And I wouldn’t worry about him. I think he’s well and truly hooked on you! 🙂

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