I’m back from Miami, down to entertain the troops for an hour. I got a standing ovation for my pep talk. It felt good, so many of the speakers were just dead boring. It’s Florida and I’m tooling around with one of my younger work colleagues, silver Mercedes SL-500, not a scratch. This is fucking $100k car. Who drives a $100k car? I wouldn’t let it out of the garage. I drive a Japanese piece of shit, you’ll probably find a Target flyer under my seat. Ah Florida, land of the beautiful tanned people (as opposed to LA, land of just the beautiful people).
I’m enroute to Sydney Saturday and just realized (stupid as I am) that I will lose Sunday in it’s entirety, arriving just in time for rush hour on Monday. One night in a hotel then off to some boring fucking internal yuck yuck in some resort area. Just shoot me dear lord, I can only endure so much corporate stupidery.
I wanted to give each of you dear readers adequate notice and time to make your appropriate gift selection for you see next Thursday I will turn 50 years old. Half a century. Remember cash is always appreciated.
I would likely never have imagined me turning 50, half way round the world from where I stated, a growling brown 27 yo Canadian as my side kick. My birthday will be celebrated in silence, alone, away from family & friends. Once I return to Sydney, Single in the City, god love him (remember I’m gonna euthanize him if he’s not picked up at the pound by the end of the month) will blow out my candles with me. I am thankful for that little bit.
All other birthdays have unphased me. 21, 30, 40 – all just dates on calendar. But 50, it seems like some milestone.
I hope your life is not a series of missed opportunities. I am feeling better that I’m now for the first time truly acting in my own interests. No longer held by what my mother wanted me to do, or what was the “right” thing to do, or how “such and such” would react. Fuck all of them. It’s about me.
You need to be the same way. In a respectful way, I’m urging, but if you’re not looking at for you, well who is? I hope you embarrass yourself. In front of your work colleagues, your family, your love interest, the fat slob sitting next to you on the plane. Express your feelings. If you like something, let the world know.
I’m still thinking about Eduardo. You know what? I did the right thing. I told the brown Tacquito exactly how I felt about him. He might have been the love of my life. My life long partner. Who knows? But he didn’t extend his emotions because he is young and stupid. He was worried about what his mother/friends/family/society would think. Now we won’t know.
Yes, I love Scrappy Doo. He pisses me off regularly and I piss him off. But we work at it. It’s not easy. But you can’t hide from your feelings and you can’t be scared of what those feelings might admit to you. I want Scrappy to be a happy pup and if it’s with me, super and if not, well I hope he runs into that guy.
Relationships are like contracts, subject to intrepretation, great when things are going well and useless when things fall apart.