TC reminded me it’s now 3 years since I left my home. Yet I am still married. We have a joint checking account. I pay all the bills. Maintain two households. My wife has a small job with a modest income (but good benefits which I am on). For tax reasons, there is little incentive to be divorced and in fact, I consider my home as my permanent residence.
I have perhaps held some foolish notion that this is all one big dream. That I might awaken and in my little bed, pancake and bacon smells wafting into the room beckoning me to sit down for a Saturday morning breakfast with the family. It is a dream and you can always dream, right?
But the reality is indeed different. Money is tight, dual households are expensive to maintain, the home needs some repairs. College will need to be paid for. Whether we like it or not, we will need to go our separate ways. My wife can’t afford to pay for a 1-bedroom apartment, surely she can remarry, beautiful, plenty of suitors, pick the rich one would be my suggestion.
Divorce happens all the time but it’s worse when neither party truly wants divorce. Best to have the ‘fuck you’ it’s all mine mentality with a lawyer named Al Finberg as your council. A huge showdown battle, lines drawn, things carved up.
My wife has no clue about money. Zero. Never had much of an interest and that worked for me. But she must deal with the fact that I won’t always be there to support her anymore. She must also work to ensure that whatever agreement we do, I can’t bankrupt myself in the process.
Not difficult, but not pleasant. Stark reality is always hard to face down.