Years ago, working in France, I noted many of my older business colleagues all seemed to have mistresses on the side. In fact, it was a bit of a badge of honor, though none admitted it outright, them missing from dinners, side trips made it evident something was going on. This has led me to wonder, might we find our needs for companionship and sexual energy in two different people.
I had my own brush with this. I fell for this girl in Europe, cultured, sparkling blue eyes, refined and sexy in a sultry way. Young, but divorced, early on something seemed amiss in our relationship. I couldn’t put my finger on it. An older female friend intervened on my behalf and in a late night conversation it came out — my girl was having an affair with a married French executive.
She said “he was going to leave his wife”. She had, in fact divorced her husband for this man. Or did she? The adage, “married men don’t leave their wives” was hammered home to her. She got the message. But she seemed happy. She had her friends, her time alone and he would show up 2 times a month for a whirl but brief period of wining, dining and romance. Perhaps that was enough. I quickly moved on. Years later, she had moved to Paris, I was in town and called her, surprisely, she was still acting as his mistress. and happy as a clam.
Is that what I need? A male mistress? A rent boy? A puppy that I take care of? Who knows, but I do know I miss the energy surge when the chemistry with someone is right, it’s exciting. I have similar feelings in a work environment, when I’m executing on all cylinders. I could never do a 9-5 job, perhaps there is an answer in here.