Some comments, "how do I do it?", meet people that is. I don’t know. I’m not unattractive, but neither am I a hot stud. I’d boil it down to 3 attributes. I have no fear. I’m interested in others. I’m geniune.
FEAR – Eduardo, months ago, had sent me a text one night after I’d surprised him in a bar with his friends saying only "NOT COOL". I chuckled to myself. At this point in my life, I don’t work to impress anyone. But he at 26 years of age is trying to assert himself, be in control, it’s important to be cool, whatever that may be. My point is that by doing anything, you risk rejection, you may employ the wrong technique, or you too may be "not cool". But doing nothing, well I can guarantee your ship won’t leave the dock. Get comfortable with fear. Learn to thrive on rejection. It’s gonna happen.
INTEREST – This week in Phoenix at BS West, 3 Mexicans, a tall one with long black hair (I know) caught my attention, I started talking to them. My sought beauty, named Joshua*, was quite intelligent, well read, interested in Europe. I enjoyed talking to him. It was a real interest, not made up. You have be curious about people. We all want to be understood.
GENIUNE – Joshua hid a bit from me. He was trying to determine "what" I wanted from him. The reality was nothing. I was geniunely interested. He kept pulling back. I leaned close to him and asked what were the base things that he knew about me. Without hesitation he said I was a nice person, interesting to talk to and out for a carefree evening. Was I trying to "bed" him down or violate him in any way? No, he replied, he didn’t feel that from me. Just saying that outloud, he realized he had no reason to fear me, he had already, in fact, figured me out.
We all figure each other out generally within the first 2-3 minutes. So you have to be geniune in your interest and clear with your motives. Drunk or sober, we pick up signals from one another.
*Postscript: Joshua text’d me after leaving the bar saying it was nice to meet me. I replied the next day asking if I could take him out to dinner. He didn’t reply. I tried one more time, still no answer. I could get upset, did I do something wrong, should I have done something different. The reality is, it’s his problem, not mine. I’m comfortable with his rejection.