I’m in Chicago with Prof. Tim. His partner (otherwise known as Mommy) is visiting his parents for the holidays in another country. WE’RE HOME ALONE with no adult supervision. 🙂 Couple of updates.
I broke down and made a decision. TC will return to DC in mid-January, stay a week and then I fly him to London to do whatever for a couple of weeks. He saying he’s going to go work on a cruise ship thereafter, but no one seems to be betting on this happening least of all TC. The London trip will curb some of his need for adventure and buy me a bit more time. Time for what I have no idea, but time is what we need.
Prof. Tim talking about his own relationship. He’s envious about the relationship I have with TC. But why? Mainly because the roles that TC and I play are well defined. I lead, TC follows. I’m the older, wiser, he’s the emotional touchy one. I pay, he spends. TC is committed and I’m a big fat whore (Prof. Tim’s words). It seems a bit Hollywood scripted. But Prof. Tim has seen his share of couple problems. Mismatched roles are too often the source of friction.
I’m not a big believer in partnerships. Not that you can’t have a partner. But namely, someone has got to be in charge of running the ship. Thus it’s a bit of fallacy for two guys to perceive themselves as equal peers in a relationship. No, not winner take all, simply that one has to have ultimate decision power on specific characteristics of the relationship. I’ve seen this problem in spades with straight married couples where the husband and wife constantly battle for who is in control. Those women with hyphened last names being the most suspect that I’ve met. I usually see a lawyer in their future.
But I’m in Chicago and enough on that, off we go to SPIN, a 6 bar multi-story complex in the heart of Boys Town. It’s a virtual candy store, Asian, Latinos and Blacks. All of my favorite food groups. Many happy to chat and I’m warming up my old game.
Alas though, I’m a doubly married man and my thoughts hang on my little brown tiger out wandering about in Toronto who I miss terribly and the prospect of starting over again is not a journey I wish to embark on.