My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Manual GPS

TC is going to a “Roller Derby” club in London. Basically, you skate around and drink. It’s a mixed event, but let’s be honest, anyone over 10 with roller skates is probably gay. TC calls before the event to check in. At the event, he calls and basically screams over the noise that “I am not allowed to come to such events, due to the number of cute boys”, he calls as he’s leaving the place at midnight to get on the subway. 15 minutes later, he calls to let me know he’s entering his friend’s apartment. I’m not sure a military grade GPS could keep track of my brown tiger any better. He’s adorable isn’t he.

He’s staying with 2 guys and a lesbian (yuck). One of the guys is quite handsome, 36 yo, TC has had a non-stop crush on him (as do I). The other was his former boyfriend (Steven), 30ish, your classic white pasty nasty Brit with the added color element of drama queen.  I think the reality of gay life has hit him. None of these 3 has made any progress, relationship wise. Steven has some bitchy Brazilian and been pressed into being a ‘top’. (I’d pay to watch that). But it’s a pure FB situation, the guy shows up once a week for servicing. Rob, is distant emotionally, not very clear what his love life is, he doesn’t talk much. The lesbian is German from some shit village outside Munich,  beaver eating her way thru British puss.

TC goes out to the same bars he frequented, he’s seeing the same gang, up to the same tricks, “how big a cock can I shove up my arse”.  Frankly, I think it scares the sh*t out him. This is one side of gay life. A world of insert n’ repeat. A search that never ends.

As you’re well aware, I was blissfully happy with TC for the last year. No gay venues, we didn’t push the gay card. We were simply Chris-squared. My friends could give sh*t and we just did our thing. I could imagine finding a partner and never doing anything gay ever again. Perhaps showing up for PRIDE once a year, waving a flag, having a drink for old time’s sake and scurrying home.

There are many unhappy gay men, the Internet is full of them, I be one of them. But as you’ve seen with me, the happy ones don’t write. They simply disappear. There are probably many fine examples, they just have no reason to announce their happiness. Misery screams for attention, thus I try to be balanced.

I think it important for you to, at least, understand the basics of the gay world. I’m still learning. But you don’t have to play along, the game you play is by the rules you’ve written. If you’re a true hottie, looking for a new cock ever weekend and you’re satisfied having a poodle and your friends, well more power to you.  So write your rules, put them on a 3 x 5 card and live the law you’ve written. You’re likely to be happier in the long run.

Now where is my brown tiger, I think I see his tail twitching under the sheets.


  1. Have you ever considered that maybe you’re an addict and can’t (read won’t here) give up your drug of choice. Sounds like the drug is having a hard time giving up on you also.

    Just a thought.

  2. Mark, that addiction has a name: love.

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