The DC Pride event is in full swing. All sorts of cute boys roaming about. But my mind is more on TC. He made it safely back to Toronto and phoned last night and today. He's still a little jet lagged.
Our situation is difficult. He's back at his parent's house, in his little bed, with his many friends, no job, no money and no prospects (to use an old phrase). He doesn't want to stay in Toronto but work/residency permits aren't dispensed like sheets of paper towels. I could hear it in his voice today, with the return to Canada, the weight of his situation bearing down on him.
Prof. Tim says TC loves me (though Chris himself has never said that) and will to come to me in Germany likely in early July. But he acknowledges there are a number of barriers. As a parent, I'd tell Chris, stay here at home, go back to school, get a job, save a little money and start making something of your life, any direction would be good, you can change course once you're moving. This guy in Germany who you "love" can wait, you need to worry about yourself first, there will be others to love later plus you can't expect this "love" to take care and support you. I'd wonder too at 23 if you know what love is. You need to set yourself up now for a good life, do the right things. End daddy monologue.
That's all well and good. But could we each be the love of our lives, helping and loving one another for years into the future, making a difference in each other's lives. Isn't that worth jumping a few hurdles, enduring a little pain.
I need to let TC get setttled back in Toronto. Let him think a bit. He knows he has some decisions to make and not just about our situation. He knows I'm still here for him. So I'll love him and support him and hope that the best answer for both of us will emerge.
All too many relationships are casual and often fall apart at the first obstacle, "things just didn't work out", but good things take time, energy and desire. I hope we both have it.