We arrived at the United ticket counter and TC threw his bag on to the scales. Both myself and the agent not the least surprised, it was seriously over weight. In TC’s world, there are no hard rules, only guidelines and couldn’t believe United wouldn’t let him slide on attempting to pack all his worldly belongings into a single bag. He then began the unsightly process of trying to remove items, which necessitated him basically re-packing there on the floor at the terminal. I took a seat far away, this was going to be his show. The gate agent finally relented when he got “close”. Of course, TC had gotten the agent so wound up that he forgot TC had 22 items of carry-on as well. This is the tiger I deal with. He’s my TC.
A quiet dinner before the flight and we both broke down, he cried, I cried, we both cried. TC has not yet decided what he wants to do. To the casual observer, it might seem obvious. But inject love and emotional feelings and well, logic goes out the window. People do stupid things for relationships.
I can either be an adult or a partner, I cannot be both at the same time with him. As an adult, I’d say he needs to get his life in order and there’s plenty of time for love later. But as a partner, his permanent departure will leave an emotional void in me. The emotions we have for each other will not easily be replicated. I’m from the bird in the hand school of thought.
I did commit to being a ‘good boy’ (on his terms, not my normally loose definition) until it’s absolutely clear what the direction is and that of course would be once he’s onboard some ship somewhere floating about OR back in DC in some new capacity. I’m counting down the time. It’s the least I can do for him and I can now work round the clock with no emotional interruptions.
So for now dear reader, I withdraw a bit from the blogging world until the other shoe drops.