My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Boy the way Glenn Miller played

I am fascinated with Craigslist. It is either the gutter of America or the ultimate in efficient market theory. I scan it regularly, trying to understand it. In the midst of “look at my dick, ain’t it great” (yes it is and when we open the Dick Gallery, we clearly want it appropriately displayed, I’m anticipating a special Sunday viewing after church), or those that are just plain crazy, but I occasionally hear a call for help, a sound of desperation.

I am a well educated, 23 yo professional, Asian, if that matters. Doesn’t someone simply want to have a drink and talk?

Looks like a job for Superman. So I write him a polite reply, indicating that normal people, do indeed continue to exist and he should not give up hope on all mankind just yet. What ensues is a long email trail of a young man confused about his sexuality. He wants to know why he has to be a part of that world that he does much doesn’t identify with. I can’t give him a ready answer. He professes the whole “I’m really bi” angle but continues to dialog with me.

I offer to meet for his “drink and talk” and says yes, but no firm date. Whatever. Days go by and late 2 nights ago he emails, how about tomorrow night. I reply the next day, OK fine, just tell me when where. No reply. At 7:30 last night he coughs up the some logistics and our meeting is on.

So we meet an area restaurant. He is well dressed, obviously make good money, very polite, as all Asian generally are, but clearly nervous. Doesn’t strike me as gay in the least bit. We sit and talk, I throw out some feelers, but don’t press for anything, I’m polite as well. He fidgets in his seat  and while he keeps the conversation going, he doesn’t steer the conversation to any of the topics he wrote to me about. We conclude dinner, I drive him home, firm handshake and he disappears into his building.

Now just so TC doesn’t have to be removed from some ceiling somewhere, he was Chinese which I don’t consider Asian, I consider them Chinese and NO I don’t go for Chinese with no offense intended. I’m sure you got offended anyways, sorry I’m the Archie Bunker of the gay world.

Clearly this young man has something on his mind. It’s bothering him. Bothering him to the extent he would have dinner with a total stranger knowing full well the topic in the air.  But he couldn’t bring himself to even mention the words, ask a question and even complete a sentence anywhere close to the topic. I don’t think even he understood why he met with me. He is circling this topic and he doesn’t want to land. It’s not really happening if he doesn’t admit it.

I don’t think I’ll hear back from this guy, nor did I expect it. He’s got to fly his own airplane, find his own airport.

1 Comment

  1. I would assume that it’s easier to talk to a stranger about these topics, about inner turmoil, much the way a person talks to a bartender (is that too cliche) or their barber. Maybe his issues are more deeply rooted and to say them aloud, which make them more real.

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