My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Jack Wrangler

Jack Wrangler died early last year at 62, smoked himself to death. Never heard of Jack Wrangler? Well you should. Jack was one of the first gay porn stars and a true trail blazer in breaking thru all kinds of barriers. There is a great documentary on Jack called. “Wrangler: Anatomy of an Icon” available on Netflix, it’s definitely worth a view.

Perhaps most interesting was that from 1994 until his death in 2009, Jack was married to a woman. A woman fully aware of who he was. More interesting is to hear Jack explain himself why he got married in the interviews. Seems Jack was uber-competitive and simply found he couldn’t live with another man. Two male fish in the same bowl constantly fighting. He found he bonded emotionally with a woman and hence his marriage.

Jack was 47 when he got married so this wasn’t a fad thing for him, he had found himself and more importantly someone else who understood him. If you watch the documentary, what’s clear is Jack is a guy, no girlie elements and you’d be hard pressed to have said he was “gay” simply by appearances. The word stud comes to mind.

The world often tries to hand us coloring books with the lines already drawn. For many, it’s a great template, others simply follow along, too scared to color outside the lines and then there’s you. You have a blank sheet and fundamentally you can do whatever and be whatever you wish, just as long as you’re comfortable that others may not be comfortable with you. Let your art begin.


  1. Dude: You need to chill out with your self-hating homophobia. Here’s a few quotes from your “black and white” world (where men who are open about their homosexuality are “queens” or fairies” and men like you, closeted, are studs):

    January 11th, 2010
    “If you watch the documentary, what’s clear is Jack is a guy, no girlie elements and you’d be hard pressed to have said he was “gay” simply by appearances. The word stud comes to mind.”
    January 10th, 2010
    “What I have discovered is that gays who came out in their teens or twenties, are often still coming out, have a host of insecurities about themselves, family, friends, even into their 30’s they carry with them the emotional scars of the process. Given a chance, these guys will project these insecurities on to you. I often felt like I was the only leper in the colony. One of the best lines of BS one fruit told me …
    January 9th, 2010
    “OK so let’s just say I’m willing to take some mildewing old queen (early 30’s – queers don’t age well)… “
    January 8th, 2010
    But I’m comfortable with the role I play. I’m the marrying type. I’m playing a serious game with you. I’m not going to simply date so we can try that new restaurant. I’m not interested in sleep over games when it’s convenient. I also don’t come with a circle of queenie friends who must accept (or reject) you into their clan. I’m not into home decorating or what Lady Ga Ga is doing.”

    … You get the picture (I hope). More self loathing, stereotyped statements come out of your mouth than any straight person I’ve ever heard. Do the words “you need therapy,” strike a chord with you. Honestly many, you need to learn to love yourself.

  2. Ouch. I’m glad I’m not the only one getting hate mail!

    But this totally makes sense. I’m gonna marry a best aussie girl friend so she can get a green card! LOL

  3. Roberto………..get a life……

  4. Mark — you know nothing about me. I am a professional, successufl, I have children (younger than Chris’s children), I’m gay, divorced, proud to be out, I have a partner, I am writing a novel, I’m a successful artist. Please, if you don’t have words, then stick to drawing little figures, but don’t use cliches to try to make your (meaningless) points.

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