March 2007 (early) – William tells me it appears I’ve made my decision. Glad he knows, cause I don’t. "You decided to try and work things out with your wife and keep your family together", William explains to me. "I think it’s going to be a waste of time, you can no longer hide from yourself", he continues, "but I appreciate you want to try".

He then goes on, I need to stop talking with gay guys, I need to stop flirting with anyone I find cute. No more gay bars. And then he drops the bomb, NO more gay porn. "Straight guys don’t look at gay porn", he concludes.

NOT the porn, you can’t take the porn away from me, how can I function, it’s my friend, it’s helped me stay in the closet. PLEASE not the porn. "Yes, if you really want to see if this is going to work, you have to".

He didn’t say anything about me posting videos to X-Tube though. Ha – a loophole.