My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

It’s takes a village

So last night TC and I out at Greek tapas restaurant. A nice meal, I'm winding down to come home and we pop in to the IX gay bar on the way back for a night cap. Innocent enough. Drink in hand, a mid 30's guy who we've seen before, Richard, passes by and pauses to chat. He tells us there's a mega club party tonight in the warehouse district and a free shuttle bus is just waiting outside. Why not?

IMG00093Off we go to this massive normally straight club, multiple dance floors, 7 bars, unbelievable sound and lights show and an outdoor seating area. It's all quite nice. It's a bit after midnight and the place is quickly becoming packed. TC is picking on me for checking other boys out. I guess I'm a little to obvious, but if you put the sardine in the can with other sardines what do you thinks gonna happen. I'm getting slowly annoyed at the constant jealousy. Perhaps I should just look at my shoes.

We wander back into Richard. Smart German guy, mature looking, not my type but attractive, perfect English, lawyer, studied in London, started his own firm, 7 lawyers now. He's doing well no doubt. Though I'm wondering why he's cruising around. We find him mac'ing on a cute Greek boy and we enter his little group. Richard leans over and tells me this is the "village slut" and he's slept with the Greek guy "a couple of times". I'm struck that here is this consummate professional on the verge of middle age, toying with the "village slut". Where does that lead you? Hasn't he figured out the cycles yet? Why would you exert the energy?

The night ends at 3:30 with TC trashed and me guiding us home. He passes out on the couch. I go to bed alone. TC awakens this morning and flops into the bed and issues me a stern lecture on doing things that make him jealous and being loyal and and and and and. The conversation is getting old.

I don't like gay venues. I don't like the scene, the drama, the insecurity and what I think is the emptiness of it all. It's not hard to go to any gay bar, in any city, on any night and find someone to sleep with. Don't think you're a hottie just because you can score. It's not hard.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey here to you other than a degree of frustration with gay guys or maybe just guys in general.


  1. Sounds like life in general. I agree that TC needs to find a new opera to sing. I’d tell to suck it up, that I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, unless of course he’d like me to and that jealousy wasn’t a very pretty sight.

  2. You odnt like the scene? really? it seems to me you are loving and living the scene. Every post revolves around a gay bar! You are like a gay teenager!

  3. I don’t particularly like the scene either but it’s fun to tinker around the edges every now and then.
    Yes, there are a lot of insecurities out there and if you are in the scene long enough, the insecurity seeps through by osmosis as well.
    I think the healthy attitude when going out is to just have a good time with your immediate group of friends. Once you take the ulterior motives and secret desires out of the equation (it’s ok to look but no touching … yep, just like going to an art gallery with beautiful paintings but you don’t take them home because you have one that’s yours hanging over your mantlepiece) and treat the night as any other activity you do with your group of friends, you have gone a long way in “scene proving” your night. 🙂

  4. I agree with all the above. Chris, you do seem to go to gay venues quite often, so if you don’t like them much, why go? I think, like Sunshine, that they have their place – on an occasional visit, they can be fun, and with friends, you can enjoy yourself, check out the eye candy (but that’s all it is, EYE candy) and then go home with your boy. Straight clubs would be much the same, with guys and girls getting trashed and picking up etc. It isn’t an exclusively gay thing.

  5. I’m so glad that you and the cub had a good time. It sounds like you two always have a good time, even if there are minor little spats. In the end, I think you realize how much he loves you and what a great guy he is. I’m with you, if I had someone as fabulous as TC, I wouldn’t be looking seriously at other guys either. Just let TC know what an intelligent, sexy desirable guy he is, and he’ll let up on the jealousy thing. My experience is that the only people who are jealous are those who are insecure, uncomfortable with themselves, doubting of their self worth and what they have to offer. TC fits none of those categories. He is a catch if ever I met one. Just shore him up a bit.

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