My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

It’s different, isn’t it?

TC called today, like clockwork. I was away from my mobile and he left a brief voicemail. I didn’t see the missed call until later and no one was home when I returned the call, no matter.

Do opposites attract? I’m online 24×7, 6 different emails, 5 IM accounts, Facebook, Myspace, Linkedin, Plaxo pages, 2 mobile phones, 1 crackberry and 4 telephone lines in my office. Saying you can easily reach me is an understatement. Chris has none of this, I looked for him on the Internet and turned up zip, this is kinda of unusually for a 23 yo guy to be so electronically disconnected.

I met his best girl friend in Toronto, she’s known him since he was 3. She looked me up and down. I was imagining the stern lecture he would get from her for carrying on with a old married guy. I awaited him to disappear or the “I don’t think we should see each other anymore” talk. But it didn’t come.

We don’t talk much on the phone because we simply don’t have that much to talk about. We haven’t had enough life experiences together. We could talk about things we want to do in the future. But what’s the point? One of my own long distance relationships ran out of gas because we talked everyday and we just ran out of topics and it got frustrating.

So Chris’s simple acknowledgement that he’s still there, still thinking about me is enough to hold my emotions until I get to London. I’ll be there on December 7th. Single in the City guy had shook his head about my relationship, or whatever it is, with Chris. Too big an age different, me with too much baggage, distance separating us. He is worried that I am going to get hurt.

I am going to get hurt, aren’t I? Chris’s wispy white cloud of self has settled around me. I like being in this mist. Cool and comforting to my tired soul. But as the day wears on, he may lift off me and float someplace else, leaving me in the hot mid-day sun. Hope and humor are on my side. I’ll survive this should it come to pass.

1 Comment

  1. Of course you’ll survive, but without dreams what do we have……you’ll also survive “if” you get hurt.
    Of course you’ll never get hurt if you never put yourself out there…..and somehow I can’t see you settling for the boring and mundane side of life just to keep from getting hurt.

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