My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Inspired

We’re almost on to August 2010, hard to believe I’ve been writing this dribble almost continuously since April 2007. There’ s some good stuff back in these archives for a new reader to associate with. I’m not any sort of a hero here with my story, I’m a simple scribe, leaving little bread crumbs for others to follow.

The untold story is sadly, your story, the one that never gets documented, the one that never gets heard. You deal with things privately as best you can, sometimes with unexpected consequences, good & bad. If I’m lucky you might send me a private note after reading some particularly thorny posting. The note might be cryptic and short, choppy at best, the words don’t seem to come easy, but you write, lick the stamp yourself.

I congratulate those who scour the Internet looking for information, looking for a reason, a way out and hope. God only knows what people had to do prior to this Information Age, it probably was a lot rougher.

My inspirational realization is that I simply want to be loved and needed and to love and to need someone else as well. It’s easy to find one, hard to find both. Cute, hot, sexy, cool are words that are meaningless to me and have no long lasting appeal. Some of the most empty people I’ve ever met are also the most attractive.  God had used up the alloted ingredients at time of shipment. A hollow chocolate Easter bunny get packed in the box.

I’m off to Toronto next week, the small brown tiger needs me, much as he growls and I need him. That’s good enough for me.

3 Comments

  1. Chris – I began reading your blog only a few weeks ago and intentionally started at the very beginning – not knowing where on this path I would now find you. As you mentioned many times – all our stories are different yet ultimately we have the same inspirational goals. Thank you for helping me realize this. I hope you are very close to achieving yours.

    You have often mentioned the age difference in your relationship, yet you and your pup are much closer in “gay age”. Derek Hartley (a gay radio talk show host) defines one’s gay age as beginning when they first come out. Query if one can realize this inspiration with someone whose gay age is much different than his own.

    I remain “prenatal” – not sure if I’ll ever be brave enough to start the journey. Unlike your situation, I cannot imagine my family allowing me to be part of their lives – the journey would be much more lonely. Also being older than you (57), the likelihood of finding someone who loves and needs me and who I love and need may even be harder.

    You have inspired me, however, and have given me much to think about. I cannot thank you sufficiently for sharing your story.

  2. Chris: A hollow chocolate bunny, what an inspired metaphor! Little do you realize that documenting your journey has helped a lot of other guys dealing with similar situations.

  3. For a non drama queen you sure got a lot of drama. Your blog and mine are very much the same story: go….stay. Neither of us can make a decision but gives us something to write about.

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