Couple of years back, a Canadian (I specialize in Canadians!) college student blogger had contacted me, he was periodically writing about his sexuality, had never been to gay bar, didn’t have gay friends, had the random on-line hook-up that he kept secret and felt for the most part his “many” friends had no clue. He yak’ed about how he was ‘bisexual’.
Our pinnacle was in talking on the telephone. This guy had the biggest flaming fag voice you could imagine, think Jack from “Will & Grace”. I told him the only person who didn’t know he was gay was the mailman. That upset him greatly and he disappeared. Re-reading his messages, I realized despite his intelligence he had all kinds of emotional problems starting with the relationship with his dad. I hoped and hope that his intellectual will help see him through all this.
So I was well prepared when a 23 year old ‘new to DC’ guy wrote me recently. Almost the same model to a T, he’s “bi”, not sure if thats “bicycle” or “bye bye” but he’s professes to be “bi” without denoting if he’s slept with woman. Obviously, well educated & traveled, quite intelligent. He doesn’t click with people his own age. He has found his random encounters with the gay community (meaning boys his own age) to be fleeing and meaningless and he’s desperately looking for answers. OH and he’s Asian (that noise you hear is TC up in a tree hissing right now).
We haven’t talked, he’s just written these very elegant and quite heartfelt emails (TC has nothing to worry about). Nonetheless, this guy has no where to turn and so he reaches out to a total stranger trying to be as anonymous as possible. I’m happy with the dialog if it helps him along the way with the predicted outcome of him disappearing on me (which is fine).
As I’d written, I do feel as a older guy, a sense of obligation to help those struggling along (BTW – I do not need Prof. Tim adding any colorful commentary here), just starting out in the world and dealing with this is just plain ugly.
TC UPDATE: Today is the day, TC will be assigned a ship. Odds are a megamonster cruising the Caribbean. He’ll likely fly from London tomorrow. I am hoping to be able to catch him prior. He’s growling more than usual, “I don’t like working so much” but I’m quite proud of him for taking these steps. I know he is sad to be leaving because it might be quite difficult to return in the future. I take care of my tiger.