TC is telling me a story about his 16th birthday party (keep the jokes to yourself about it only being a few years ago). He feels like he’s a 2nd rate family member. His married sister with child gets the majority of attention. Chris’s family never asks to much about TC’s life. Dig a bit deeper and you realize this is a family, that despite closeness, really doesn’t share much by way of feelings. In fact, they seem to have a lot of secrets amongst themselves. “I know my father loves me, but it’s tough to see sometimes”, TC normally concludes.

Men struggle with expression of their feelings (just read any profile), brown men even more (macho macho) and then add in some über sensitive homo factor and you have quite a bubbling cauldron of stuff bobbing about. TC isn’t far from his own father. He doesn’t like to express his own feelings for me. I know it though. Despite all the growling, he’s still sleeping at my front door each morning, waiting for me to start the day. Actions speaking louder than words.

TC is very private and I’m not. He continues to worry about the ‘sugar daddy’ imagine we portray together, though frankly, that’s far from the truth (I’m working on making him a sugar boy). Once I get him started, the things he worries about is a long list.

Monday he’s off to Europe in what may be a last big adventure for a while, I’m only sorry I can’t go with.