My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

I’m trying, really I am

Single in the City (SIC) guy sends me an email following our meeting (sounds all official, “meeting” doesn’t it, should get Powerpoints to go with it). Basically, he’s urging me to dial back my energy level “one expresso”. His fear is that I’m overwhelming and need to give others time to learn about me. Am I hearing an echo in this room?

He goes on to buff n’ puff me a bit about how charming and attractive am I. Like I need a bigger ego than I already have.  I’m thinking I was exhausted, had 3-4 drinks in me and actually feeling a bit spent out. I’m sure glad SIC didn’t see my leaf blower going at high speed, he’d of glided back to Sydney without an airplane.

His point was well taken. Several folks have told me the same thing. But can you manage your personality? Can an introvert try and be an extrovert? Can me the quintessential extrovert tone it down? Isn’t this like a sense of humor. If you have it, you have it, you don’t know why, you can pretend to be serious by suppressing your humor but it’s still there. But if you don’t have a sense of humor, well, you’re screwed, it’s not something you can fake.

If you ask me to change my behavior, aren’t you asking for me to change who I am? I pulled out some old reports cards from my elementary school. I always got “needs improvement” in citizenship. Reading the comments, “Chris needs to talk less”, “Chris needs to control his emotions”, “Chris needs to pay attention in class”, later in life it was “Chris needs to come to class”. That’s me today (oh – I have a new policy, I don’t go to any meeting that can start without me, it’s simplifying my life).

I don’t think you’re gonna change me. I’m not going to change you either. Who we are was flashed into our data banks long ago. So some guys who meet me are gonna get blown away, statistical casualties. The ones with better perception who stop, sniff and think are the ones we all should concentrate on.

1 Comment

  1. LOL. No one is asking to change you. Just making an observation…but you are a great conversationalist! Have fun in Europe!

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