My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

I’m not getting any rest

Image298 Breakfast time, my phone is ringing, it’s Chris where it’s an early 3:30 a.m. in Toronto. One of Chris’s girl friends runs a modeling agency and had invited him to a party. The party was full of cute guy models. His speech a little slurry, but he’s home, going to bed, Chris just wanted me to know he’d been a good boy as he purrs “I miss you” into the receiver. He’s trying hard.

Relationships are bitches in the straight world and a real challenge for gay guys I suspect. It requires compromise and the ability to allow someone else to fly your plane, it’s ultimately about trust.

I’ve witnessed many a queen, he has his apartment, his friends, his job, a plan for his life and he’s not planning on giving up or changing any of that for some man de jour. Pity.

My wife has moved 3 times for me. I have picked out 3 places for us to live without her even seeing it in person. She never complaining (OK not much), she made the best of the situation and busily set-up family camp at each locale. She trusted I was doing the best thing for her and the family, never doubting my motives, following while I lead. When it came to the children, I sat in the backseat, she knew better than me and I had to trust her to do the right thing.

We get greedy and want everything but give nothing. To get love, you have to give something up. The intersection of two people isn’t a momentary passing, it’s life course altering, things won’t be the same. You compromise not because you have to, but because you want to. When you do, there’s a risk of getting hurt, but you know what, you’ll recover if you get a scrape.

TC is a mere 23, but he loves me and desperately want me to love him back. He’ll leave his family to come be with me in a country he knows little about, to face an uncertain future in a situation ripe with obstacles. He trusts I will help him make the right decisions and he’s willing to risk the scrape.


  1. Just caught up on your last week’s worth of posts…sounds like it’s great (relatively speaking) for you two! 🙂

  2. What I love most about your posts is your humility. You are so non-judgmental and wise. I wish more of those queens were are as understanding and wonderful as you are. Love your blog. Keept writing!

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