I posted about this 21 yo university student in the article “He came from Heaven” back in the middle of November. He reads this blog. Since that time we’ve talked, chatted on line, text messages back and forth. The tone of our conversations is part intellectual, part emotion and some element of sexual charge. He wants me to come visit him, but there’s no hurry and he’s not particularly concerned about whatever else I’m doing. He’s defined his own relationship with me that’s special for him.
I feel kinda of bad. I’m searching all around for “that” guy, formulating my attack plans, trying to get into their heads. Yet, in the midst of this is my yet unnamed 21 yo university student. He’s doing more than 50% of the work, he calls, writes, stays in touch, he clearly wants me to be something to him. I talk openly to him, I don’t filter my words, there’s no any strategy to our conversations, in fact, we seem to be on the same wavelength most of the time. OK, so yes I’m developing a bit of affection for him.
So what’s my problem? I should be scampering up to see him. But, I’ve never seen him sans some photos. Will we have some chemistry together? Or we will find ourselves in a Starbucks staring at each other wondering WTF we were thinking. Or could he be a true love, someone who understands me. Or is this just another shag partner? Right now we’re a fantasy for each other.
I find myself (again, sic) in this conundrum of what I’m doing with a far younger guy who is living in distant city, me now wandering Europe like some backpacker. What expectations should I be setting for myself?