My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

I’m just visiting

812883812I’m passing thru the US on a business trip and my wife is kind of enough to allow me to stay in the guest room and we’ve had a number of pleasant dinners. I’ve been busy on household projects. It’s hard for a woman to maintain a house and being so remote makes it difficult as well.

Her boyfriend of the past years has been eager to meet me for some reason and she announced as I was hot n’ sweaty climbing around on the roof that he was enroute to meet me. I’ve usually found that people who want to meet me (also from this blog) are mostly curiosity seekers trying to put a face to the voice. No doubt my wife has yaked about me and he was thus curious to meet. I’m too busy to be curious anymore about soap opera drama.

There he was a petite much older man than me, though in good physical condition, staring me in the eye, shaking my hand, congratulating me as if he’d just voted for me. Thanking me for taking good care of my family and my wife and asking if he could ever do anything to just let him know. He’s Latino so that’s how they roll. I smiled, engaged in some small talk and sent them out on their ‘date’ for the evening. Stranger than fiction isn’t it? But the story could be much worse now couldn’t it?

In other news, I took the evening to troll thru emails to me via the blog and as always I seem to be the recipient of young men in distress about their coming out or screwed up relationships. I try and be serious in responding (though failure is always an option), usually their answer is embedded in their email to me. I’m in a screwed up relationship, well stop being in it then. I’m scared to come out, well don’t come out then. The hardiest are those who seem quite sincere and worry about whether why they can’t find a real loving relationship.

Gay or straight, we have not only high demands, but we never seem to attain any level of happiness. We find someone, seem to be happy and quickly start to wonder , “is there someone a little bit better than whomever I’m with?”. Well there’s always someone more attractive, more buff, bigger dick, wider pecs, with more money, more personality, more loving, most trustworthy, more more more.

I stumbled into Scrappy pretty early in the game, but I could just as easily be on the treadmaster of dates myself. I fear this often and thus hang on to Scrappy even tighter. eHarmony has found that while opposites attract, it’s actually those who are more like yourself that will lead to longer term success.  But when do you close the deal, settle in for the night or do you leave a window open “just in case.”

None of this comforting to any of us. The acid test for me is the level of my happiness box. If the balance of power in any relationship stays in the red zone then it’s time to remember the red zone is for loading and unloading only.

1 Comment

  1. Good to see a post from you.

    Although the “more, more, more” phenomenon is certainly true, I wonder if those who are most afflicted with it tend to be single and those who are not are coupled. In other words, is it a reverse-fulfulling prophecy?

    Also, eHamony’s ‘similarities attract’ research has been under fire by other researchers. They say the data is biased because the study was based on long-term couples and long-term couples have a natural tendency to become more similar the longer they’re together.

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