My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

I tried really hard, I did

Spring re-appeared in Washington yesterday, the weather suddenly cool. Blue skies and sunshine. This wasn’t a day to work.  Lucky for me the Asian guy I’d seen wanted to go for patio drinks and dinner. Great and off I go, like a dog with his head hanging out the window into the city I go to take in the sights.

I arrive and my Asian friend is there with 2 others friends. Older guys. Great again, perhaps I can make some new acquaintances. The oldest guy, older even than I, has been married twice and has 2 adult children and was a regulatory puke for a major pharma company. Super, someone I might relate to. So we start talking, boy is he gay (I’m thinking), he seems quite intent upon unearthing something bad about me. “How is your relationship with your sons?”, he asks. I hesitant wondering WTF that seems to be a deeply personal question for someone you just met all of 5 minutes ago. “Oh so your relationship isn’t that great”, he ventures. Who the fuck are you?

I didn’t jump all over his shit when I asked what he does (clearly an American thing) and he indicated “he was taking some time off”. I didn’t venture “oh you got your lame ass fired”. No I just smiled, “I see”. Enough of this aging queen. I went over to the other guy.

The other is younger late 30’s and has been in a relationship for 14 years. Good at it, I say. He’s well traveled and we’re talking about his latest adventure to Burma with some fag hag of his. He’s actually interesting. Suddenly he looks at me, “I’m not going home with you”. WTF? Dude it’s 7 p.m., the sun is still shining, you’re about 10 years too old for me and the wrong fucking color — white. Where did that come from?  I gotta get out of here. Off to dinner we go.

The Asian guy is all of 39, about the age of one of my polo shirts, is a Ph.d and works for a major pharma company. Dinner is basically an interrogation of me and my relationship or rather fucked up relationship with TC. I’m playing the role of defense, he the prosecutor. He has TC down as a immature money grubbing sugar daddy wanting boi toy with no direction or inspiration. He seemed quite happy that he’d “tidied” up my life as he made his closing remarks.  Glad he got that all wrapped up for me, as I was struggling.

No,I didn’t go after his situation. 3 years with a married guy, whose wife just committed suicide, who lives so far away they only see each other on weekends. I’m not sure whose going to win the ‘most fucked up relationship’ award but it’s probably a close tie.

William, god love him, had told me early on that gay guys are bitchy with each other particularly with anyone who is not in their clutch. So last night, instead of just having a relaxing evening, I arrived back home a mess, not helping TC has gone full diva bitching about his job, issues with his family, demands from everyone. I unplugged all my phones and went to bed. I had enough.

I cannot emphasis enough, NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THEIR LIFE. Write it down, put it on a little card, keep it in your wallet, place in your man bag, I’m going to write an iPhone app that makes it your screen saver.

It is unfortunately experiences like last night that leave me thanking god almighty that Obama has not yet found time to regulate the porn industry.


  1. Now now, if you hadn’t had that dinner TC’s phone call would have been like water off a ducks back. He expects you to understand he’s just unloading. Not always fair……but then again relationships are 50/50 as you have stated several times before.

  2. Bitchy DC queens? you want me to move there! LOL

    Sounds bad…why are some gay guys like that???

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