I’ve got a cold. Family is back. I’m at home. It’s like nothing has changed. Wife hasn’t said a word to me about anything. Frankly, there isn’t much to be said. The simply fact that I’m back is an answer in itself. We’ll see how the next days roll out. I’m on the road most of next week and spending the weekend in LA. I wonder what time RAGE gets going?

Interesting, both Conner and my TV guy have come back in last days. I never could figure out all this texting. Am I supposed to ask you out? Are you asking me out? Screw this, just pick-up the phone and call. Say what you want, I hate having to interpret all this sort of stuff. Sent TV guy an email, telling him I’d moved back, he quickly replied with a sweet & supportive note. He told me he was trying to start things off right with me and should have been more forthcoming with his own feelings.

I’m an old dog. I know now why, when one partner in a long relationship dies, the remaining one often dies quickly after them. The other person just become such an integral part of your life, a part of you goes when they go. Clearly, I’m no expert at developing new relationships and certainly a total newbie in the world of gay. But what’s starting to become clear is that both Conner and TV guy were actually looking for a relationship. But they both backed away, sort of a test, “do you really like me for me?“. They wanted some time & space to ensure that pure physical appeal wasn’t the only thing going on.

I guess that’s a learned behavior from too many one-night stands. Conner had told me that gay guys looking for real relationships were indeed a minority, despite what they might profess. I wish I’d had known the rules before hand. Maybe this helps you if you’re venturing out into this new uncharted world.