Sitting at the pool this morning, reading the Sunday paper, magazine section has a “feel good” article about Jane Lynch, the coach in the TV series Glee, which of course all you homos know all about. Well I didn’t know Jane was a carpet licker. She wrote about how miserable she was as a lesbian in her early years. In fact, she had a great deal of hostility towards the gay community. It drove her to a brink of alcoholism and other emotional problems. It wasn’t until she fully confronted her uniqueness that, well, things moved on. I was moved by the article.

Tonight, I’m at a hole in the wall Thai place, 3 little Thai ladies are busy running around, the food is spicy, salty, sweet, crunchy, smooth — it’s everything and all good. I love the Thai people, friendly and so at ease with themselves. What is it about the Thais that I so want to know.  I got a yogurt and walking the now cooler streets of Hong Kong. I pondered what Jane Lynch had said and how I watched the Thais in action

It hit me there, yogurt spoon in hand (honeydew flavor with mango – girlie but I’ll run with it) aren’t we all just really seeking to be understood and to understand?

Isn’t the point of a relationship to find that one person who understands you, the person (or movie). I’m talking deep down, how you tick, think, calculate, your desires, feelings, emotions, needs, wants — all in a raw unedited form. Don’t you want someone before you bite the bullet to get the ultimate you? I do.

I’ve been lucky, my wife knows me well on all levels, fronts and passage ways. I have a nice comfort with her. She’s home base. Safe. Scrappy and I are working our way there. I will be one lucky individual to have 2 people on the earth who get me

Notice that I didn’t mention anything physical in nature. Clearly some element of physical factors into all bonding relationships, but it shouldn’t be the overriding factor.  I watch couple straight and gay break up and while the high level root cause is sex OR money, if you were to dig deeper it’s a failure of understanding and compassion for the other.

Flap at me as you want, but I manged 15+ years with a great woman and now 4 years with what I think is a great (but quite different) guy. I hope you are equally lucky.