My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

I flew, we flew, flew some more, now we’re back

Scrappy and I tore off to Singapore for a week. The nearest analogy I can give is think of ¬†a city based upon Disneyland. Everything is clean and orderly and unfortunately expensive. It’s also hot n’ humid all year long, ugh. I was at a conference and busy and Scrappy explored. Loads of brownies loose so he was comfortable roaming about. We managed to check out the meager gay scene.

A single day back in Hong Kong and off to London we went (Scrappy is travel size), another boring conference, but it was good to be back in our familiar city. I left Scrappy to his own devices to romp around his old haunts.

We met up for dinner with an old contact, 30’s Latino gay guy who’d always liked me, he’s very loyal and sweet. He’s living with his boyfriend/partner now but there was some bitterness as he explained how he’d caught his boyfriend cheating on him via a sneak peek at some text messages. The boyfriend, an older guy, confessed he had a thing for brown boys and it would seem he was Grindr’ing it away whenever he was off on a business trip.

My friend was notably upset about this, but he’s getting older and eager to be in a relationship indicated he’s now opted for them to have an ‘open’ relationship. I noted it would appear his partner had adopted this position some time ago. Unfortunately, it now appears my friend is forced to round up some stray for himself¬†occasionally whenever his partner is out of town. Not that he’s particularly interested, but it would seem to dull the apparent pain of wondering what his partner is up to at that very moment.

I feel sorry for my friend, I saw the signs of stress on him, he’d like things to be normal, but they can’t be and he’s equally stressed about the available options to himself. Likely as well, he’s wondering, where is this going or perhaps where will this end? I do as well.

1 Comment

  1. In the very homosexual city of San Francisco, open relationships seem to be the norm. I don’t really understand them, probably because I’m still too straight and conventional. Maybe they work?? I don’t know. It seems to me that “open” = “it’s not really working” on some level. So, rather than break-up, let’s screw around until one of us finds someone better.

    I recognize a fellow doormat when I see one, so please say hello to your friend for me. Does he enjoy getting stomped on? I have a long way to go myself but I’m learning that self-respect and good relationships are tightly interwoven. If your friend wants a better partner then he needs to stand up for himself. No one else is going to do it for him.

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