Prof. Tim has called suggesting that I am NOT the Angel that my writing seems to be presenting. I guess we all want to be a bit more noble and wiser than we are. My wisdom seems to come mainly ‘after the fact’ and no I’m not an Angel by any means.
TC rips off to London tonight. He’s undecided whether he goes to sea or returns. I suspect he won’t know the answer himself until after the fact. There is sadly no right answer and any decision is likely to ultimately be wrong. I have placed a huge burden on him in effect a big test of the relationship.
Nonetheless, I’ve promised no whore mode until the decision is apparent. But my days will be darkened until then. I will be lonely. Lucky I have a local London telephone number and there is always Skype, so I’m sure he will call, but with the time difference we will be out of sync
At dinner, TC professed that early on in London, he saw me as a convenient landing spot, a place to stay. I seemed liked a nice enough guy, so what was the harm. Quickly thereafter, he became accustomed to the warmth and security I gave to him, while the seas outside raged. I interjected that based upon the prevalent combo whore/bitch mode I saw from most gay guys, I assumed what I had to offer was heavily discounted. TC stopped me cold, “Chris – you give every gay guy exactly what they’re looking for and you play those cards well”. He went on to assume I would be snatch’d up like some Ebay “Buy Now” offer and disappear into the night and soon forget about him.
Glad to see everyone but me has confidence in my future.