My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

I am a bad dog

Did I write about swearing off men? I must have something serious f*’d up in me. Last night my Indonesian friend invited me to his birthday party. I arrive late to his flat and the party is well underway. Straight and gay, it’s a nice group, the food fantastic.

Well – I immediately set my eyes on this cute smiling 23 year old Indonesian. The party slowing down, the group decides we’re moving to a gay bar and off we crowd on a familiar red bus. The scene continues. It’s late. I’m totally trashed and my friend is going home. The 23 yo wants me to stay out with him. He’s all touchy. My friend cautioning me, “be careful with him”. I heed his advice and leave, but get his number. Why dear lord do I do this?

I stumble into SOHO to TC’s bar. Ooops, I was supposed to go see him earlier but now it’s almost closing time. Chris pours me a drink, he’s already called 5 times wondering when I’d show up and a bit upset. Nonetheless within 1 minute, I’m chattering away with a 23 yo Italian at the bar, the accent, nice body. Growl. It’s gonna be a 2fer night. Chris listening at a distance. Somehow or another, the Italian and I leave together. Why dear lord do I do continue to do these things?

Well, we end up having a big make-out session in some dark alley. How low can I go? Bottom isn’t low enough for me. Clearly, he wants more and I’m just the guy to give it to him. Somewhere in my hazy fog, I decide, “this isn’t such a good idea”. I know that’s hard to believe, but yup. So we part company, he knew Tiger Cub was my boyfriend, but that’s just a guideline. I manage myself on to a night bus and make it home, passing out safely in my bed.

This morning I awake. Alone. Tiger Cub is asleep in the other bedroom. I wonder why? So I go wake him up. Not a good idea. Like a disturbed hornet’s nest, he comes out swinging. He saw everything in an undrunken state and repeated the entire sequence of events to me. Did I really say that? No, I don’t remember him having his arm around me. Oh yes and more, he details.

Look, I’m a guy. I get drunk. I get horny and I’ll talk to a cute guy and yes I’m good at it. “What’s your point, Tiger Cub?” (note to self: probably shouldn’t use this line of defense in the future).

In the firestorm that, of course, followed, I was virtually with no defenses. I had screwed up, best to fall on my sword, take it like a man (no pun) and allow myself to be fried. But in the midst of this, we started talking. Talking about our feelings for each other and what we wanted. I’ve come to realize in the last weeks, that I’m pretty attached to Chris. He drives me crazy, but I miss him when he’s not there and I don’t like being alone.

He hates to talk about his own feelings. He knows he has his own life to sort out. We’re an odd couple together. But he’s just as drawn to me. He sees the ego boost I get from landing some young guy, he’s often amazed himself at the fish I reel up. Have I flung out all my wild gay oats yet? Not sure. But we clearly level upped our relationship. I, of course, extended my sincere apologies for being a total cad.

1 Comment

  1. Congrats matey! You’re now a gay man!!!

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