So here I am. A newly out middle aged man with a wife and two teenage kids looking for a new relationship in a world that I don't fully understand, recognizing that no matter what I can offer, I have a long term continuing obligation to my family. I can see all the boy toys lining up outside my door, hot property that I am.

Image365 Imagine that in the midst of this, I do find someone who accepts me for not only who I am, but what I can offer them. I found him in the most unlikeliest of ways and in a young package I didn't think was possible. TC has shown me both passion and love and a respect for my family. Perhaps that's why I like Latino-Asian influences, a deep understanding of family.

But for the moment, TC is out of reach. Woe is me. It's certainly not tragic, but clearly quite sad. Sad indeed.

I am home today, but I am not home. A guest in my own house. A disruption to the new daily flow my family has found. The book title, "You can never go home again" seems most appropriate. But yet here I am. Now where do I go?

It's never good to dwell in misery, life being too short and things really not as bad as they seem, a little time and distance gives everything prospective. But for a minute, I'll allow myself to be miserable.