This posting won't apply to everyone, but I have certainly managed to fall into a most complex situation. Uncertain living situation, uncertain career due primarily to the economy, a BF in another country. Funny how the situation only a few months ago seemed quite idyllic.
I'm back home for the moment but in a Catch-22 situation, living like a suburban dad, dinner with the family but I'm not really supposed to be here like this. It's a bit surreal. In years past, my social life was around the family and friends of the family, other couples and events of that nature. But not anymore. Yes, I could pack up on Saturday night, head into the city alone, but TC would flip out and likely for good reason. I automatically go into prowl mode alone in a gay bar.
Our married friends now shun me, for others I'm simply a 3rd wheel, my attempts to reach out to potential gay friends has not met with huge success. We all have our little circles and we are resistant to opening that up. Plus I've been wandering in Europe this past year and long forgotten and may well disappear again. It, of course, can always be much worse.
It will be time soon for decisions to be made. I booked TC to fly here on Wednesday. He'll check out a respected British hair school here in Washington and we'll head up to NYC for the weekend. I'm happiest when we're together. I've decided that whatever I have to do, well, I'll just do it.
That statement seems sorta like a "big duh", of course you do what you have to do. But really we don't. We postpone, work around the edges, widely interpret our actions or simply ignore the facts. Gotta hitch my wagon and get rolling.
Note: This is actor Hunter Parish from the Showtime series, Weeds. Trying to suppress my unpure thoughts and I don't usually like white boys.