I’m in a woman mood this afternoon, it’s raining in DC, not in the holiday spirit, TC ain’t here, he video ins and I get all emotional on him. I just wanna slap myself and not in the good way.
I’ve been more emotionally needy in the last 2 years than my entire lifetime and I hate it. My ship entered this scene hardened to deal with whatever and I’ve dealt with it. Hard to believe that Tiger Cub has been a stabilizer in my emotional life, but he is and I’m lucky.
Bored on this rainy day, I am scanning gay meetup venues. I know, I’m predictable. Yes there are plenty of “hung white top looking for submissive brown bottom” adverts and enough faceless no shirt dudes or just “dick” photos to make me feel like a medical examiner.
But intermixed is the occasional sincere one, the guy who has burnt himself out in bars, hookups, online chatting or whatever scene and finds himself suddenly alone, desiring of a relationship that perhaps has a bit of depth, but totally unsure of just how to find it. A needle in a haystack.
It’s been 2 years since I’ve patrolled through match.com and I’m struck by the number of people I still can recognize and still active on the website and there are hundreds and hundreds of guys to choose from. All looking for love.
I’m not sure this is any different from the straight single world with perhaps a bit heavier spin on sex and dick size. But it can be a lonely ride.