Paul is one of my very good friends and in on my story. He’s my age, married, 2 screaming kids, wife, successful, whole nine yards, meet him at a trade show about 5 years ago. Hung over this Saturday morning, I’m talking to him about my general disappointment in virtually all my budding relationships. Just not happy with the progress I’m making.

“Chris – you come on to people with full force intensity and it can scare the crap out of someone who doesn’t know you. Dial it back notch. I remember when we first met, you called me 5 times a day to talk. You are a handful to deal with, give people some time to understand you. You process an incredible amount of information at high rates of speed but the average person isn’t going at your rate. Turn your high beams off”, Paul neatly finishes.

Paul, in his earlier years had lived in DuPont and had plenty of gay friends. He then doles out some somber news to me. “The gay community is small, you’re talking a 10 block radius, it’s a continuous cocktail party, they all know each other and worse, they all gossip on one another. Lots of little click groups of insecure gay guys cyclically,  in a relationship, not wanting a relationship, looking for a relationship mode. It’s lots of drama and like an Italian opera, it never seems to end. I worry, you have virtually zero tolerance for this.”

Great, just what I needed to hear. I’m doomed before I even get started.