My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

This way to happiness

Come next Sunday, TC will be here with me and I will have slept well for the first time in weeks. He’ll be growling as usual about random things and if I play my cards right, I’ll get a couple of purrs thrown in as well. Many of you have ‘congratulated’ me on his return, but to be honest I have mixed emotions.

TC is not returning with success, he is returning with failure. Making his way as quickly as possible to a safe port, me. I am merely a harbor to set in for repairs. He spent part of December getting ready, roamed around Europe for a month, trained for 2 weeks, not making a dime, got on board the ship and in under 3 days started hating it. Talk about bad planning.

Next Sunday will be pleasant, maybe we’ll go for a picnic or something. But come the following week, TC will start turning the pressure up on me to make a move to some location that he finds suitable and I’d really like to accommodate that action. Unfortunately, I travel with more than just a toothbrush and my monetary requirements are slightly above the cockroach budget he can manage on. It takes, time and opportunity.

He tries to understand, but he’s 26 years old. He’s never had his own place, had to set-up utilities, the few jobs he’s had have been menial. He wants things, but fails to see that you must go thru Steps A & B, before you get to C. You must do your time in the box. In a word, he’s quite immature. The good news, down isn’t so far, the worse case scenario he simply moves back in with his parents.  Unfortunately, that’s probably not an option for me.

Now having said that, TC has a heart of gold and is deeply caring individual. He has passion for the things he does and a love for the people around him and a sweet innocence that makes you want to protect him. I must love him, because otherwise I would have run away from this situation. He loves me to and no doubt it bothers him that his love is interrupting his desire to romp around the world.

I cannot be held responsible for anyone else’s happiness. Not my wife, my kids, nor TC. You can’t conveniently subcontract this out like sending your shirts to a laundry, “light starch, please”.  Nor can you blame another, when happiness is elusive. It’s your job and if you’re not happy, it’s up to you to go ‘get happy’.

Injecting someone into your life means compromise, I suspect we’re going to have to find that compromise and make peace that it’s part of our pathway to happiness for this to succeed.

5 Comments

  1. You heart is in the right place, and everything will work out fine. I think that TC should feel very proud for all that he has accomplished so far. He may not have held down this last job for very long, but at least he tried, which is more than can be said for young men his age. Think of it this way, what were you doing when you were his age? Give him time to grow, and keep supporting him (financially as well as emotionally). He’ll turn out just fine. The world is his oyster.

  2. I’d hardly call walking away from cruise ship slavery a failure. Coming to your senses might be a better description.

    Why don’t you help TC find a career? Isn’t he interested in anything that could become a real career?

  3. Sorry “Wondering” but TC has accomplished squat. He needs a reality check. At 26 he’s no longer…..a twink. A possible solution is for him to volunteer with runaway gay TEENS…..he’s very lucky that Chris is so smitten with him. Chris, you are at a challenging point in your career, make it clear to TC that while you love him, and love him dearly that he needs to be apart of your future and not ALL of your future.

  4. Do not think so much about things..just enjoy your time now with TC. Just live in the now. Things always sort themselves out.

  5. I agree with Single in the City. Now’s the time not to overthink, but to enjoy. But to Wondering, since you asked (although you weren’t necessarily asking ME), at 26, let’s see, I’d finished college, finished law school, was into my career, married, had a child, and that’s just for starters. Maybe I should have rethought that marriage thing, but then I wouldn’t have my kids, and my partner wouldn’t have the joy of being a step-parent, but I digress. 26 is not a child, today or yesterday.

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