Come next Sunday, TC will be here with me and I will have slept well for the first time in weeks. He’ll be growling as usual about random things and if I play my cards right, I’ll get a couple of purrs thrown in as well. Many of you have ‘congratulated’ me on his return, but to be honest I have mixed emotions.
TC is not returning with success, he is returning with failure. Making his way as quickly as possible to a safe port, me. I am merely a harbor to set in for repairs. He spent part of December getting ready, roamed around Europe for a month, trained for 2 weeks, not making a dime, got on board the ship and in under 3 days started hating it. Talk about bad planning.
Next Sunday will be pleasant, maybe we’ll go for a picnic or something. But come the following week, TC will start turning the pressure up on me to make a move to some location that he finds suitable and I’d really like to accommodate that action. Unfortunately, I travel with more than just a toothbrush and my monetary requirements are slightly above the cockroach budget he can manage on. It takes, time and opportunity.
He tries to understand, but he’s 26 years old. He’s never had his own place, had to set-up utilities, the few jobs he’s had have been menial. He wants things, but fails to see that you must go thru Steps A & B, before you get to C. You must do your time in the box. In a word, he’s quite immature. The good news, down isn’t so far, the worse case scenario he simply moves back in with his parents. Unfortunately, that’s probably not an option for me.
Now having said that, TC has a heart of gold and is deeply caring individual. He has passion for the things he does and a love for the people around him and a sweet innocence that makes you want to protect him. I must love him, because otherwise I would have run away from this situation. He loves me to and no doubt it bothers him that his love is interrupting his desire to romp around the world.
I cannot be held responsible for anyone else’s happiness. Not my wife, my kids, nor TC. You can’t conveniently subcontract this out like sending your shirts to a laundry, “light starch, please”. Nor can you blame another, when happiness is elusive. It’s your job and if you’re not happy, it’s up to you to go ‘get happy’.
Injecting someone into your life means compromise, I suspect we’re going to have to find that compromise and make peace that it’s part of our pathway to happiness for this to succeed.