My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story


I’m a videoing with TC laying on his bed. No it’s not anything like that. He’s at his parents tending to his little niece. She bounces up on the bed, all of 2 years old and stares at the computer screen and sees me. “Grandpa”, she exclaims. The useless brown lump buries his head laughing as she continues to point at the screen saying “Grandpa”. Well TC, all I can say, at least I don’t like doing old men like you do. Yuck.

This does raise an important topic I’d hoped to talk about. Age difference. Queers are generally about as loaded with drama as some ghetto thug is taking out a 7-11. Drama can come at the drop of the hat on virtually any subject imaginable. They seem to get offended, miffied and spikey at a moment’s notice. It’s a combination of brooding teenager and a woman whose not getting enough action. As a result, I’d have to say, for the gay world, there is clearly merit in looking for someone either much older or younger than yourself. It eliminates so much of the one upsmanship and the increasing tension from the various games we play.

Yes I play games as well, TC is well on to my games (though not always). TC goes into mini-diva mode about some infraction I’ve done worthy of an immediate death sentence and I’m busy looking for that dime I lost in the seat cushion. It pisses him off in a royal way that I no longer engage with him on these matters. In fact,  I simply go silent. Which pisses him off even more. You can’t win a war if the other side doesn’t show up.

Needless to say, after a while he climbs back down out of his tree, licks his paws and acts like nothing has happened. I do the same. Life goes on.  Forgiveness and forgetfulness should rank high in attributes to making a relationship work.

We tend to try and hurt each other with words. Try to get as many rides out of a relationship as the free pass allows. Cram 10 lbs into a 5 lb sack. We want everything to be perfect. I’m old and graying, an aging warhorse, now attempting to focus in on the things that matter.

It humbles TC that my interests in him are genuine and my desires simple. Live, love and enjoy. It is often late at night, when the brown paw reaches over, a quick touch, I know he has been thinking about it all.

When two guys are in the same age bracket, there is constant competition with another, unless one is willing to cede, battles ensue, lines are drawn and wars are raged. Ultimately, the “it just didn’t work out” emerges. While it may certainly sound self-serving, but go high, go low but stay out of your own food group.


  1. Chris: I was still laughing from the “grandpa” incident when I misread “warhorse” — I thought it said “whore house” — you always talk about the brown paw reaching for you, don’t you ever do the cuddling?

  2. OMG. This is hilarious. I think I found your nickname. That is so funny. Older guys…tricky. I see a lot of older white guys with young darker guys. Not sure if those are the healthiest relationships. Older guys go for them cause they are the only ones interested and vice versa.

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