TC and I spent the afternoon talking today, he gets all quiet when something's bothering him and I just get in his face until he lets it all out. He did and suddenly our good communications have returned. Testament to the relationship and the power of truth, tell the freaking truth, all the time, no matter what, it will serve you well. I was a bad dog and I knew it.
I ponder why I ran off the reservation so close to seeing TC again. Perhaps I'm still a gay teenager, desireous to see and touch everything, intrigued by all the guys around me. Ego fueled when some twenty something professes interest. But I'm not a teenager. I'm all grown up, the time for this type of behaviour long gone. I missed it for sure, but I have so much else in my life to be thankful for.
"Chris – I have a secret as well to tell you", TC shyly says. I bury my head, biting my lip, preparing for the worse. I just knew my little slut had something to tell me, f*cking little whore. I brace for impact. "Chris – I'm really not 23, I'm 24, I lied to you about my age." What? "I'm going to be 25 this year". He looks all serious. This is your lie? Your secret? TC still is looking rather stern. I don't even know how to react. 24, 34, 44 who gives a crap (OK so 44 is definitely past my expiration date). I burst out laughing, TC still looking rather serious. My puppy. And with that, we got our relationship back on track.
But curiousity killed the cat and TC clearly has gotten curious about me. He "Googled" me for the first time and was suprised by the number of hits. Yes, I really do exist.
Unfortunately, this blog exists as well. This blog for the last 6 months has mainly been about the relationship between TC and I. While TC has read portions and professes he doesn't really care, the blog purpose was to document a married guy and his coming of gay age and not details of a personal relationship.
I'm going to do some thinking about how to proceed from here. I may simply stop, the overall mission of this documented journey now sufficient for someone else to follow and hopefully help someone in need. Till then …