“None of this seems to affect you”. Brian, my ever present therapist, is asking me. In the last month, my relationships with both Kenny and William, two people I care quite a bit about, has blown up (the Kenny one will be the subject of a future article). But yet, it hasn’t affected me, I don’t talk about it, no point.
Brian explains that many of his clients struggle to allow people to get to know them and often, if the relationship turns bad, spend months being depressed about it. This is the reason, he explains, that the speed by which I move is often unsettling to some, they don’t want to get hurt. “None of this seems to affect you, why is that?”. Stronger meds wouldn’t hurt, I counter. He urges me to go away and think about it. I do.
In my job, I think up new stuff (products/services) for technology companies. About 99.9% of what I think up or what others tell me about is either stupid, economically or technically impossible to do. So I’m comfortable with failure, it’s a daily occurrence, it’s the odds in the field I play. As a result, I’m in a hurry to find the 0.1% of stuff that actually passes grade, something that can be successful. I don’t dwell on mistakes.
So if you’re one of the guys who stand in a bar nursing a drink all night wondering why no one is talking to you or scared to approach someone, well, you’ve got to play the odds. Realize most relationships aren’t going to work out, but the next one might. There are over 3 billion guys on this planet, figure 10% are gay, that’s 300 million homos roaming around (explains why Cher is so popular). One of them is probably a match for you, just go find them, they’re looking to.
I’m not saying burn through people. I’d be thrilled to kiss n’ make up with Kenny or William and happily see them again. But maybe I won’t and I’m OK with that. Just keep your expectations low and be thrilled when someone is better than you expect.