I have been reading about my blogger friend, Rob, whose been writing Below the Radar for what seems like years. Rob and I seem very similar. It ends pretty quickly though. Rob is just a nice mid-west sort of guy, the sort of person who never says anything that might upset you (contrast with me). Rob posted a half nude photo of himself and I found myself mildly excited (seeing as how I normally don’t like white guys) or was it jealousy (seeing as how I’ve lost control of my bodily functions). Who doesn’t like Rob?
Rob usually blogs about “near misses”, usually it’s some screwball that Rob has a love interest in but never seems to fully close the deal to the extent he would be willing. You know, the stuff of network sitcoms. But Rob blew me away with his latest posting about some near miss at a men’s health club where some dude (who he fancied) walked around with a near boner in front of him shaking it about.
Now friend if that is indeed the “highlight” of your weekend, we need to have a serious huddle. Rob – I love you but I have higher expectations. But the entire posting raised a bigger “oh-oh”.
If you’re planning on going homo and you live in Shitsville USA (likely 98.6% of America), let me give you some bad news. Get some cardboard boxes, cause you’re gonna move. Move to some bigger city and I’m not talking Indianpolis. I’m talking megahomo central, because otherwise you’re choices are gonna be limited and likely serious f’d up.
I realized reading Rob’s posting that I’ve been lucky. I’ve lived in mega cities, Washington, London, Cologne (ok not mega but mega homo), Toronto (not lived, but I would take a white boy from here), Sydney (a whole nother story) and now Hong Kong (my personal nirvana – home of endless Asian snackie treats, toys and assorted novelities).
But in all seriousness, location matters. If you’re re-establishing yourself in homo land, you’d better think hard about your current location, what you’re looking for and your ability to recover. I can’t imagine enduring what I’ve been thru being in some tiny splinter of a village in Ohio getting excited about $3 draft beers at some woefully homo bar on a dimly lite street.
Think before you act and understand what you’re signing up for.