My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Fucking Mexicans

Nearly 4 years ago, I met a very sweet Mexican-American named Eduardo in a bar in DC. We went on 2 dates and when I told him (as I do) I was married, he very politely wrote and told me that despite liking me he didn’t want to get involved with a married man and he was sorry. After that I saw him a few times out and he acted like I was invisible (something the queers do well), I was terribly hurt. Eduardo was all of 26 years old.

Four years have passed. I haven’t seen Eduardo. I’ve thought about him often, bit strange. I might go to his Facebook page (we’re not friends). I have no idea why. I’m in a relationship with TC. Things are good.

The other night I was out with a friend, gay bar, what else. I’m not drinking. In comes Eduardo with his twin brother (you are indeed a sick fuck) and a couple of friends. My heart stops. He passes by without so much as a nod. The evening progresses, I watch him across the huge bar area.  I stand tall.

Suddenly, he acknowledges me and walks over. He is petite, twinkie, big brown eyes, polite, well mannered, educated. He stops to talk. He tells me what he’s up to, asks how I’ve been. He lingers. My friend – I was unable to speak the English language. I’m not sure what I mumbled to him. The emotion was too much.

This isn’t the “gee you wanna go to the dark area and make out” or “let’s hook up together”. I had a deep emotional pang. I realized that this was the guy who got away. He is mature for his age. sophisticated, eager learner and something deeply mysterious that just winds my clock. He apologized for being a dickhead in the past years when he had seen me. He wasn’t drunk. Neither was I. We were talking. At 50 yo, I ain’t fishing as a hobby. I’m planning on taking it home and mounting it above my fireplace to keep forever. I told him it was good we hadn’t dated more because I would have been the last man he’d ever have been with. He blushed. It scared him in a good way. He lingered some more, I babbled on in Klingon.

The night goes on and I’m not sure what to do. I lean in to say good bye and he kisses me on the cheek as he puts his arm lightly on my side. That’s it. I’m a goner.

I drove home. My hands trembled. While I hadn’t physically cheated, had I emotionally cheated? I was/am unsure.  I barely know the guy, yet something deep inside said this was a special person to. A feeling I have only felt a handful of times in my life radiated through me. Oh god, what is going on.

1 Comment

  1. Do you honestly think that you will only meet “one” person in your life that makes your heart lurch. And no, I’m not talking about physical beauty, I’m talking about connection……

    You are a very emotional person……they tend to be more vulnerable. It’s life happening.

    Glad you’re back.

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