Long ago I started writing this blog because I realized that across the world many men were struggling with their sexual identity. They could be young, old, married or single. In some cases they were repressing and bottling up these emotions, on others, they were out living what we might deem as a dis-honest life style. I wrote initially about my own life and experiences, it helped me to see it in writing and is seems to have helped others who became readers.
As I’ve come to discover, almost everyone has a story or at least had a story and whether you or I would consider of great interest, when it’s your story, it’s a big deal and the centerpiece for your own decisions.
So what up with me? Living the jet set life style it would appear. Scrappy Doo and I were thoroughly enjoying Sydney when out of the blue Kenny contacted me. Kenny is the start of this whole story. He’s a guy I’d met some 7 years ago and developed an emotional attachment to. I out’d myself to Kenny and unfortunately my blog as well. Kenny wasn’t upset about my emotional connection to him, he was mostly worried about the blog. As I was to discover, he, like many others, is not interested in living his private life on the Internet. When I stupidly refused to remove postings about him, he very politely ended our friendship.
That was 4 years ago. Steadfastly, I wrote a note on each of his last birthdays and true to form, he didn’t reply. I resigned that my blog had cost me dearly. Irrespective of what if any feelings Kenny had for me, his own sexuality, or whatever, my blog had cost me his friendship. On his last birthday, I told Kenny that I was getting closer to him and was now in Sydney. Silence was the response.
So it was with great surprise when I received a short note from Kenny asking how I was doing and providing me his mobile number. I quickly responded and we set up a lunch meeting. I arrived apprehensive about what was going to happen. He showed up, looking a bit older (he’s now 35) but no matter, I was keen to see him.
He mostly wanted to vent in person to me how anger he was about me writing about him and for not removing it when he requested. I for perhaps the first time in my life, did something right. I took the full blame for everything, conceding that I was 100% wrong and had a total lapse in good judgement and apologized profusely. He needed to get this out and I need to apologize, we had to cross this chasm.
Kenny has been living with a girl now for over 2 years, he noted she’s a bit of a female advocate and when I asked about children, he said they weren’t planning on having children. Whatever.
I left our brief lunch happy, happy that perhaps you can put things back together again and that time does indeed heal all wounds. There will be slow progress but I’m sure with Kenny’s support we can rebuild our friendship and I will focus my blog on my own personal issues.