My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

F’ you, strong letter to follow

Well, my boys don't like me. I'm talking about my sons, my children. They're teenagers and in a rebellious mood. But they're finding it awkward to deal with me, their live-in fag.

The oldest one doesn't want me to drive him anywhere. Scared to be seen in public with me. The youngest doesn't want me to hug him, crying out "it's inappropriate". I feel a bit of distance from everyone. My wife going out to get banged by another man tonight. The only warmth I get is from TC on video. Where is that Monty Python song, "Always look on the bright side of life?".

I'm more troubled about my kids. Teenagers are a tough read, focused on themselves for the most part. The world revolves around them (gee I thought it revolved around me). But what's the right path? Is there some unsaid things? Mad at Daddy? Confused about things? Unsure themselves just how to handle all this?

Should it remain in the darkness? Or is this a family forum type of thing? I suspect we're in the don't ask, don't tell area of the game board.

Kids are used to having a mother and father. It's their base of operation. Their rock until they find their own island to operate from. An faggy ass or not, parents splitting up shatters this stone. My youngest son is livid that his mother is seeing another man. His mother needs to be his father, it's that simple.

So many unanswered questions. I want my kids to be balanced, accepting, tolerant (all the things I'm often not). Am I doing the best I can? Probably not, you can always do better. But will we make it to the other side intact. I hope so.

We all have drama in our lives, but please don't stop living while it's happening.


  1. Ok I’ve been thru this from both sides. I found out my father was gay while I was in college. Now knowing I was gay, and hating the idea of it because all I wanted to be was “normal” didn’t help the situation any. We pretty much didn’t have much of a relationship from that point onward, and I would say it was mostly my fault. On the other hand both of my children know I’m gay and they seem to be much better at coping with it.
    Being teenagers, as you pointed out, is never easy, I’m afraid the only thing you can do is to let them know you love them unconditionally, at the same time being a good father (which means you can’t buy their love).

  2. Chris, My heart goes out to you. I’m sure your sons don’t mean it deep down. They really love you and you are the Dad so you just need to keep loving them even though they don’t show it. Usually it’s the teen daughters that are worse about this, but it can last for a couple of years and may not have all do do with you coming out. Anyway, keep your positive attitude and try to stay active in their lives.

  3. I’m totally confused. I thought you previously wrote (at least when you were in London) that your kids met and loved TC, and that they thought you beingj gay was cool. Maybe you need to spend a little more time with your kids? Do you ever spend any quality time with you? Have not heard much about any outings with you and the kids in hand (sans TC), so just wandering. I’m a divorced father of two, and I know that I devote at least 75% of my time to my kids. Are you doing the same? My kids have absolutely no issue about my being gay and divorced, so I can’t say I share your experiences, but I do observe that there is a lot of resentment from your kids which goes way beyond the issue of being “gay.”

  4. Chris: I echo what Don has said. My kids were 15, 19 and 20 when I came out, somewhat older than yours, but I stayed in the same city, and made sure that I was almost as much a part of their lives after my ex and I separated and divorced than I was before. They didn’t feel threatened that they’d lost their father, didn’t have to compete with a second, separate life of mine, because they remained part of it. And they all accepted me, and the situation, and eventually my partner, and still do. In fact, my youngest, now 21, is living with my partner and I as he finishes college, his choice vs. living with his mother and her new husband. Maybe you just need to make them feel that you’re as much there for them now as you were before.

  5. You need to work on fixing this. These boys are your responsibility too…not just mom’s. You’ve just spent what? The better part of a year in Europe fucking your hot brown boy? Maybe you should take on some more the the parenting responsibility now.

  6. I missed your blog! was overseas in a country where the intenet is censored by the govt! I love this post about your family! You sound like the typical american could be the poster family for the Christian right!

Comments are closed.

© 2021 My Trip Out

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑