I’m on high speed train from Frankfurt to Holland, it’s 2 a.m. East Coast (7 a.m. European) time. I gotta cut back on Asian & Latinos, it’s killing my sleep time. 🙂 I have a meeting this afternoon, damn I hope I can stay awake.
Flying over Frankfurt this morning, memories of my days working here came back. Unfortunately, early guy thoughts also came back. I was so busy working on my career, I just didn’t pay attention to those feelings. I’m sure the word, gay, never crossed my mind, but yet 10 years later, here it is.
Prof. Tim and partner laughed off my Thai boy incident. When I’m good, I’m good. The reality I’m a 46 yo pimply face gay teenager, out exploring. Thai guy was simply, "hey it felt good", I did it spur of the moment. But the 46 yo adult in me knows this isn’t the long term game I want to play.
The 20-something is a perfect target, they’re out exploring, living life for the moment and the "I did an old guy" is another check box. But I have a desire to quickly find a relationship beyond a simple one night stand. I’ve notice as we age, we develop more rules. I see guys with the "I won’t .." or "They must have/be.." I think only later in life do you realize rules are just little walls you put up.
I’ve no rules. No playbook to follow.