My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Epilogue: The journey ends

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Well friends, after 2 years of blogging, it’s time to say good-bye.

It’s not just that the quality of my writing has deteriorated, but that the story is really over. I’ve told all I can tell. I started this blog to help me and to help you; you that silent visitor who appears and reads every posting. You were looking for information and I hope my writing helped.

There’s been a cost for this blog though. Personal regrets for things I’ve written. People can’t keep a secret. Last week, my blog was such a hit inside my former employer I ended up blocking access from their domain. Trust no one or trust everyone, but pick one. We all lead such boring little lives and are seemingly fascinated with those who color outside the lines.

I walk away stronger than when I began. More confident in my abilities, more tolerant of others and respectful that you may see the world differently than I. The great relationship with my wife and kids continues after some bumps. Those are the people who matter. There are 6.7 billion people on this earth, rapidly discard those who don’t respect you, for there are many others to take their place. Professionally, I’m taking more risk, realizing I have all the skills I need to accomplish the things I wanna do.

I hesitate to offer you any particular advice. Your situation different. The challenge with any decision, is that doing nothing is always the #1 option. Often that’s the best choice, but sadly it’s equally often the default one. Unfortunately, that leads one to steer around the issues in our lives. We’re all to happy to legitimize to others the poor decisions we made. In the end though, it truly is all about you and you need only answer to yourself. So do what’s right.

Now on to the top of the porch, to the top of the wall, I dash away, dash away, dash away all.

15 Comments

  1. I understand… but your timing is poor. I’m where you were 2 years ago. I’m 39, been married 15+ years and I came out to my wife (she suspected) after the New Year. I moved out on 1/13.
    My journey is just beginning. I hope to find others to serve as a guide as I set out on this next chapter of my life.
    Best wishes on your happiness.

  2. Chris,
    Yours has been a magnificant blog. You were never afraid to express yourself.
    I’m going to miss my read tremendously and if you ever decide you start up again please let me know, you have my email.
    The best to you, T.C., your boys and you wife.
    Mark

  3. Hey Chris –
    I’ve been following your blog closely – it has helped me in my thinking as I figure out my own journey. I’ve come to learn we each have to find our own way. Thanks for sharing your path with us and good luck in the future.

  4. Chris, you will be missed but not forgotted. Thanks for sharing and baring your life for all of us. It is always helpful to see another’s perspective, and that you have always provided with honesty and frankness.
    My journey continues on and I have enjoyed you sharing as a part of it.
    Let us know if you change you mind.

  5. Noooooooooooooooo! So sad! I, like everyone else, have LOVED your brutal honesty and the fascinating journey you’ve been on. In some ways, I’ve nodded my head sagely in agreement, in other ways, I’ve disagreed wholeheartedly, but always, I’ve respected you! I wish you and TC all the happy stuff possible! Keep your facebook profile updated please! 🙂 Lots of hugs!

  6. Sad Goodbye:
    I’m sorry to read that you will not be posting anymore. I have enjoyed your blog. I don’t share the comments made by many who see you as a “model.” I looked at it from the other end of the spectrum, from the point of view of a married now divorced man who has already gone through the coming out process and has acclimated to a normal gay life. I see many mistakes in your journey, but your honesty (sometimes your incredible hubris) is refreshing. I do worry that you are making mistakes; for example, not allowing yourself true and prolonged grieving time; not allowing yourself to actually date men and getting to know them. You appear to be so anxious to be in a relationship, that you fail to form a relationship. A man must walk before he can run. You are running; you have not yet walked. Slow down. See if you can find someone who actually fits your life, rather than trying to fit your life around someone. If you open up another blog, please let me know. I do enjoy your style.

  7. Oh Chris, don’t stop – preeeeettttty ppplleeeassseeee????!!! After all, life goes on and I’m sure your journey will continue. I have really enjoyed your blog. If you are really stopping, know that you will be sorely missed.
    xo

  8. As the good book says for everything there is a season.
    Chris, I enjoyed your blogging time.
    And thanks for your advice to move beyond the status quo. Not that I am taking it yet, but it has made me think.
    Best wishes as you continue on your journey.

  9. I am sorry to hear that you will no longer be blogging. I will miss your unique take on life.
    Like someone else commented above, if you ever decide to start blogging again. I’d love to hear about it via email. I have linked to your site and will keep it on a month or two, to remind me to check and read your archieves.
    I appreciate your reasons, though.
    Hugs and Love,
    Antony x

  10. Just like the others, I’ll miss your blogging as well as the insights you’ve gained the last 2 years. Your sage advice works whether one is gay, straight or bi. Good luck to you and yours. Hope you and TC make it.
    Hugs, Vicki

  11. great advice about discarding people that don’t respect you … and to either trust no one or trust everyone.
    good luck!

  12. Chris, it was a very interesting journey spoken with an honest voice. Your journey continues, of course, and my thoughts are with you and yours. You seem to have a strength of character that will see you through whatever awaits. Only good things, right? Take care.

  13. Hi Chris,
    So I a straight 30-something woman, who found you (sadly, here at the end of the journey) and 30 minutes later… still reading.
    You have a wonderful focused style (my blog would like to be yours when it grows up) and though I can see already while everyone will miss you think you’re doing the right thing keeping the blog to that specific part of your journey.
    It’s very relatable, even to someone very much on the outside of this particular experience (I just happened to find you on dcblogs.com where I serve as contributing editor).
    Uhh, I don’t know if you have ANY interest and can’t really offer much in terms of how you go about DOING this but… ummm, book deal? there’s definitely a book here. it’s leaping off the page.
    Thanks for sharing your journey.

  14. You have a facebook profile? add me. I wanna keep in touch. Hopefully see you in April. Good for ya for the memories and the journey. A new chapter begins:) see ya soon!

  15. Thanks for blogging, Chris. I found out about this blog more than one year ago, and has been reading regularly every since. It’s sad to see the epilogue here, as I feel — this certainly is just an illusion — that I have known you a long time and the occasion feels like an abrupt goodbye.
    That said, the other part of my brain perhaps was subconsciously wishing for an end. Unlike one year ago when drama in your life equals to a fun evening read in my life — just like any other blog reader — these days it actually makes me a lot happier to check out your blog and find everything being the same — you are still happily with TC, and are on good terms with your wife and kids. This is probably the best ending for our regular readers.
    I had lived in DC until last summer. Been to London, Cologue, and Chicago, where I guess a lot of your stories unfolded.
    I can’t stand some of your GOP views, but other than that, I think you are a hell of a great blogger, and a good man.
    Good luck,
    David

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