My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Eh

TC has alternated between being highly annoyed or highly irritated by me.  At dinner last night, he finally pushed me over the edge with the list of things I’ve done wrong. Rather than argue I simply went radio silent for the remainder of the meal thinking to myself this may simply not work out.

TC recognized his mistake and after some period reversed thrusters and went into super sweet mode for the remainder of the evening and into the morning. I almost didn’t accept his charity, but then again, he knows how to push all my buttons.

I have placed this young man in a very awkward position with a long list of challenges. A 26 year old should be living their life relatively carefree, making time to live, work is forever, problems will be endless and opportunities narrow with age. The world is no longer your oyster. But he hangs on, I hang on as well. What’s around the next curve? We have no idea.

Back in March, I’d written about the 3 components of a relationship being love, sex & companionship and you have to have ALL 3 in order to have a qualified relationship.  The reality is with TC, I’ve got all 3 and damn if either of us is gonna let it slip away, not at least without a fight.

One of TC’s gay friends is struggling with a long term relationship. He lamented that they weren’t having sex anymore but quickly discussed the other virtues he found in this person and that sex wasn’t all that important anyways he concluded. I stopped him cold, told him that was a BS response and asked whether he was trying to fool me or just himself. He shrugged.

It’s become a quite common theme I’ve heard several times. No sex relationships. Ironic since sex is usually #1 on the homo list of demands.  More ironic is the effort by these guys to rationalize it. The partners don’t talk about the elephant in the room nor do they seem to do anything about it. Where, pray tell, do they expect the relationship to go?

When something is wrong, you are obligated to stop and fix it.  Isn’t a breach of faith not to try and resolve it? Homo relationships are near about impossible to maintain long term and if you get luck enough to find someone even remotely close, don’t you at least wanna try?

One of my biggest lessons has been to minimize time in the gray zone. It’s time wasted. Energy consumed to go nowhere. Get in the boat and enjoy the ride, or go find another boat but please don’t try to change the laws of nature.

For me, I’m in the boat with TC. I’m not 100% happy with the situation and I’m damn not always happy with him and his ways, but I made my decision and I’m sticking to my guns.

2 Comments

  1. Chris, You are right not giving up on the relationship with TC. It definitely is not perfect but look at the alternatives. It’s very instructive to read this post along with Single in the City’s posts Lonely and Sex vs. Relationship.
    But it does raise the question of what do you have when the sex wanes in importance in the relationship. That is when you should start worrying about the relationship.

  2. TC needs to be nice to you….hot/cold…make your tiger PRRRR

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