My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story


I haven’t been in Madrid less than 24 hours and I’m already royally pissed at TC. Furious might be a better word.

So we arrived yesterday, swank boutique hotel replent with in room mood lighting. Deluxe living. I have to work 2 days, then was planning on staying weekend. Weather super. Last night, we strolled around, late dinner in a nice restaurant and afterwards we find ourselves in a cute little gay bar. All going well.

Two guys chatting up TC who is both stoned and drunk. One of them touching him on the shoulder. So what, but I’m still quite jealous. I’m chattering with a sweet myself but plain 34 yo. I know double standard. Music is loud, I’m just enjoying.

Its 2 am and I have an 8.30 breakfast meeting. I signal to Chris that we need to leave. What’s the point of talking to guys, I already have one and not looking for a one night hook up. But he wants to stay, "do it up on his first night in Madrid". His new friends want him to go to another club. "Can you give me my allowance?", Chris asks. My blood starts to boil.

"Whatever, here is some money", and out the door I go. He follows me out. "Are you alright?", he asks. I tell him to do whatever the f**k he wants, he does it anyways, so why ask for permission now.

So I trot down the street. He has no clue how to find the hotel, I’m having to use the GPS on my own phone, winding streets of Madrid . Chris also has no mobile or clue.

I get back to hotel, fuming, mad. I can’t sleep. I get really angry and flush his entire stash of pot down the toliet. I am a woman scorned. I’m texting Prof Tim, who realizing the situation, immediately calls me. Its 4.30 am, I’m on the phone with Prof when Chris walks in. I hang up and tell Chris, "don’t talk to me". He tells me its taken an hour to find the hotel. Lights out, he climbs in to bed, trying to make up. But humpty dumpty is broken.

With just a bit over 2 hours sleep. I start my day. Chris is sleeping. I have a full schedule today and suspect I won´t be good for much this evening. In my heated anger I debated cutting the trip short, just leave the little f**k here alone. To think, Chris, with no place to go has been talking about coming to Germany with me. Yeah right.

Am I having a drama moment? I don’t think I’m high maintainance, but for one more hour of drunken fun, Chris has gotten one of our last weekends off to a poor start.

I don’t think its a lot to ask your travel partner to turn in with you, wasn’t like it was 9 pm. I give so much and get so little back. A slight touch of empathy would have been nice. Instead, I got it´s all about me. This should be touching ending to a tragic story.


  1. Drama is right. Hey I don’t actually condon what TC did, but on the other hand it’s no different than what he’s done in the past. I think maybe you should take a deep breath, get a good nights sleep and accept TC for who he is. If it’s not enough for you then you know the alternative.
    Personally, this time I think you were being the Drama Mary…..sorry.

  2. Look, it’s a matter of training. This guy is used to being on his own, doing what he likes. It takes time to train a guy to share a life. It took me ages to train my husband when he was still a live-in boyfriend. The idea that it was a courtesy to call when he’d be late; the notion that it was not on to kiss other women at a party, even if he was stoned. We’ve been married 23 years. It must have worked. There is give and take. It’s just got to be explained to him until it sinks in. Hate to say it, gents, but men are dense, God love ’em.

  3. You need a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Have a chat with him and told him how you feel and what he’s done.

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