TC informed me last night that he wasn't planning on coming to DC until January 4th "earliest". After having talked about our mutual plans for New Year's Eve, I was stunned and he knew it. Our call ended quickly and I left hurt. This was clearly not my understanding of how things would proceed.
Today, TC avoided me for most of the day, Skype, email, calls. I was both mad and understanding. Late afternoon, my tiger gets on the phone, speaking very quietly, he's sad. He's not sure he can come to DC. Unfortunately, if he's not coming here, our relationship is, wel,l no more. He seems sad about that too.
Is it me and you together? No, we're pretty solid. I'm his best friend, companion and survivor of his cooking and we have a lot of not only sexual energy, but love as well. Is it DC? We talk on, yes a bit, DC isn't London, but it isn't forever and this is how the cards are playing out. Well what is it then?
The underlying issue is TC's family. His large extended family in a tight Caribbean community where gossip runs rampant. The Caribbean world doesn't accept gays at all (kill'em and cook'em seems to be the motto) so Chris is already at risk. His family tolerates he's gay, as long as he doesn't live a gay lifestyle.
Living in DC, his family will want to visit, including many cousins and in short order they will learn about me no matter how we try and spin it. Little brown rent boy with sugar daddy is how the story will be told. It will eventually come back to his parents and they'll be the talk of the 'hood. He then imagines the grief from his parents, they won't approach the subject directly, they'll talk around it and clearly in a non-approving manner. More stress for him.
Now the reality is people who know us together simply refer to us as Chris2 and we're just normal fruits getting on with life together. I suspect his dad might well enjoy a chat with me under other circumstances.
The brown world with their large extended families can often be particularly harsh if you don't follow the cultural rules. The family unit was their key to survival in harsh times and that culture still prevails. None of this families like having an odd bird.
I offer TC protection and support, I hope my love and his love will endure so he can make an intelligent decision for himself and break out.