My Trip Out

Gay married man coming out story

Don’t mess with me when I’m cooking

TC opened the lid of the rice we were cooking and started stirring it. I yelled at him, he yelled back. It escalated, me yelling how he seemed to be at 24 years old the world wide expert on virtually everything. He yelling I'm the world's biggest a*hole. In the end, he stormed up to the bedroom and locked himself in. For those new to the gay world, this is known as a drama moment and obviously saves queers a whole lot of money because they don't need cable TV.

Image346 I eat my dinner alone, throw on some clothes and out the door I go to my favorite gay bar for a beer. I'm nervous, I haven't been in a bar alone in a while. The immediate stares from two Spanish guys rumble over me. I look away, bitch that I am. A Brazilian guy ambles over to the bar to order a round and struggles with a bit of German, I help out, he switches to perfect English. Ooops, can't help myself.

But the ice is broken, the guy who had been silently sitting next to me starts talking in British English. Rob is from London, late 30's and he's clearly not my type, so I'm relatively safe. Turns out Rob is whoring around alone in Cologne for the weekend after ending a 10 year long relationship. He works for Britain's National Health Service as an HIV counseler.

I'm telling him the story. "He didn't open the lid did he, you know you're not supposed to do that, ruins the rice", he interrupts. Exactly my f*cking point.  Cooktop rice is hard, get a rice cooker and get on with life. Rob's partner had previously been heterosexual and he seemed well acquainted with the issues I am dealing with.

"Chris – TC isn't a woman, so stop expecting him to act like one", Rob begins. "TC was raised as a boy to be a man. He's got the ego and drive and based upon his culture, probably taught he was always right so obviously he gets pissed off at when you expect him to be a woman or challenge him", Rob is just getting going. "Making things harder is your age difference, no matter how much TC learns, you're always likely to be the wiser one and make the most money, that's hard for him to suck up."

Rob's not done, "the challenge with most gay couples is to determine their roles and establish milestones for their relationship – you guys need to talk about these things". Rob ends on a sour note, "my own relationship fell apart because my partner kept wanting me to behave in a way I just couldn't for him all the time".

Here at 11 p.m. in a gay bar in Cologne, Germany – I find wisdom. I'm going home and quickly hit the WC, walking back out, who is walking in? TC flies in on his broomstick.

The story continues tomorrow …


  1. I love broomstick stories, I can hardly wait…..

  2. That actually sounds like good advice from Rob. Gay relationships do have different dynamics to straight ones simply because it’s two guys in a relationship. 🙂

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