Saturday night, my oldest son calling. He wants to get out of the house. His younger brother has a friend over and they’re being “annoying”, WWIII is about to begin. “How about dinner?”.
TC and I hope in the car and pick him. It’s not awkward and there is no weird vibe in the air. They’re just chatting along. We hit up a local Indian vegetarian restaurant, I’m talking we were the only non-brown in the place. No decor, but the food is outstanding with all kinds of wicked spices. My son lapping it all up. TC and him are just talking along about travels and cultures. I just sit back.
The restaurant had no alcohol, so I suggested we hit a local pub for a beer to cool the spice. Off we go. The pub is a neighborhood bar/restaurant place, we find a table, the waitress comes over and immediately ID’s TC. Great – I’m living with someone who doesn’t even marginally look like they’re 21. TC and my son still chattering along.
TC has done an exceptional job of trying to tie in with my family. Not over the top, in your face, but more how to blend in, a slow integration. There is a risk in introducing TC to my family. I wouldn’t put our relationship on the most solid of footings, what with our living situation. What if TC disappears? I clearly don’t want my kids thinking their dad is some sort of pervert preying on young guys (OK I heard that snicker). But after 2 1/2 years together, clearly he is a fixture in my life. I’d rather them see my real situation than imagine one.
Kids are not known for communications and I’m not fully sure what either of my sons are really thinking about me or TC. Not like they’re asking any questions. Kids are pretty much consumed with themselves and more worried about what you’re doing impacting what they’re trying to do than anything else. I credit my wife for her acceptance of TC and this encourage the boys to follow in her footsteps.
If I back up a bit, the prospective is, except for a few bumps along the way, that the emotional side of things has gone quite well. But it had precious little to do with me. TC, despite his age when being flighty is acceptable, is pretty grounded about family and his relationship with me. My wife is a realist who recognizes things are what they are and you just deal with it. My sons absorb the energy that we emit and are on whole pretty open about things. So perhaps I shouldn’t complain so much.