We are all just a bit more complex than we’d like to think. Anytime someone tells me they’re not complicated, I know I’m dealing with a seriously difficult person. We all have some rough edge, some side we want to keep in the shadows. All of us do. You do. I certainly do. We have an imagine of ourselves that we’d like others to see and we don’t want others to see our ‘bad’ side. Often we try and hide our bad side from ourselves as well.
I ventured into the gay world and have written extensively about how the majority of gay men have some deep unsettled issues. They’re not fully comfortable with themselves, some bad family thing in their past, a relationship gone sour, some unchecked sexual urge.
Initially I wrote this was serious f’d up group of people. However, with time and a bit of prospective, I realized that I was simply well tuned to quickly noticing differences. When you travel into a new country, my senses immediately pick up differences. Things that other countries do well and things that seem odd. It’s often little things. The differences in bathrooms, how offices are laid out, how people interact with each other. Entering gaydom was like entering a new country, at least for me. The differences were visible like a black light on a cheap motel mattress.
Gays perhaps do need a bigger awning to shield their dark side. Yes, they likely have had to confront more demons and perhaps have a few more scars, but we all have demons.